Unfaithful
by DoctorLady
Summary: What to do when your heart and your mind disagree? Mistakes are what makes us human, some are unfixable,unforgivable. but never doubt the power of love, especially Damon Salvatore's love. love can be lost and found but Damon's love is never lost.Will Elena do the right thing? Define right thing! O course there is cheating, Unfaithful, Hello? but DElena will NOT cheat ON each other
1. Chapter 1: Runaway Bride

**A/N: first, I want to get down in one knee and beg for forgiveness from any sweetie who has been waiting for me to update my other stories _especially **_**sweet October**_**_ I am really sorry! I was in a bad place and lost all kind of willpower to do anything but now I am back and rollin' ;)**

**I am back for good *fingerscrossed***

**A/N: hope you enjoy this one. This is AU/AH **

**Chapter One: Runaway Bride **

The page is still blank.

I haven't been able to write a single word for three weeks. Writer block, it happens, no biggie, it will pass.

I want to pull my hair out.

I have never ever ever had a writer block, it only heard of it and I always thought it was a poor excuse for non-talented writers. A real writer never runs out of words because words are my life. A real writer should have an endless flow of words and thoughts floating inside his brain. A real writer never ceases to put those thought into a beautiful masterpiece of words and sentences.

And here I am.

The page is still blank.

I have tried everything in the book.

Still, nothing worked.

I left the office and drove the car with no destination in mind. And yet, I found myself here. Here of all places. The place of my sin. The place I vowed to never come back to, the place I never stopped thinking about since I have been in it.

It is not actually someone's home or a park or even a public place. It is a really old, really beautiful house. It has been in the market for years but no one dared to buy it. And despite the rumors about it being haunted, I find it kind of comforting here.

_Must be because of him._

A weak whine catches my attention and I feel soft fur glazing my bare feet.

Sparrow.

My face breaks involuntary into a wide smile as I welcome my new company. He attacks me with kisses and licks and I find myself giggling.

I haven't giggled for a long time.

"So, you remember me, buddy" I rub him between his ears as he settles on my lab. "I missed you too" I say softly and he leans into my touch letting out a whine. "What is it? Are you hurt?" I ask worried about him and I almost roll my eyes on my stupidity as I check his fury body for injures but he seems fine. "What is it?" I am asking myself now but he glances up at me and the look in his wide puppy eyes are sort of sympathetic. Or maybe I am imagining it.

"I am fine, buddy. Don't worry about me" I tell him just because I want to believe someone feels that there is something wrong. That someone understands. I let myself believe that and it is also kind of comforting. Sparrow struggles into my chest in, I am guessing, his idea of a hug and I hug him back.

I blink and swallow back the tears threatening to stream down my face. I will not cry. Oh, if only I knew what is wrong with me. There must be a reason why I came to that place. I try to stop my brain from replaying that night but I fail….

**Two months ago:**

Here's to the bride!

I throw the bourbon down my throat and it does serve me good as I feel the burn down there to my stomach. Oh, if my fiancé could see me now! Someone is gonna be super angry!

Yes, I am the bride. The so called bride whose bachelorette party is tonight. Caroline did well in that one. She worked so hard and created the prefect bachelorette party in the history of weddings and parties. A bachelorette party bus for the girls with a private driver who must have swore secrecy, reservations in the best bars and clubs in the city and even a two floors reservation in the Four Seasons.

And I ran away from all that.

It is not that I don't appreciate Caroline's hard work. I do and I love her for that. And it is not also that I didn't like the party because it was all kind of fun. Then it must be the groom? Nope, nah, no. I love him. I want to marry him. I will marry him tomorrow.

Then why am I here in a dirty bar drinking cheap bourbon and feeling all kind of chicken.

I consume the next glass of bourbon in one gulp and I hear a deep chuckle so close to my ears. So close that I feel its breath on my hair. My first reflex is supposed to be pulling away, putting a distance but the liquid in my veins making me lazy with slow reflexes so I don't move until I hear words.

"Easy, love. Whoever told you that you can find a solution in the bottom of your glass should be charged for your death"

"I am not dead" my voice is husky and hurting my throat as I try to speak. I turn my head to tell my imposed company to get lost but once I meet his eyes I am frozen.

He has the most intense eyes I have ever seen. They are ocean blue with heavy eyelashes and a heavier eyebrows but that is not what capture me. It is the look in his eyes, so deep, so intense, a combination of amusement, curiosity and a hint of pain. It is the most memorizing thing I have ever seen. I can't look away for a few seconds but I force myself to drop my eyes which is a bigger mistake since they fall on his lips. They are curved on a one sided smirk and looking all kind of kissable. A voice inside me is telling me that I should never have such a thought about another man but my man but hey, I am engaged, I am not _dead_!

"Of course you are not. You are very much alive" his voice is illegal! It is low and hoarse; such a voice should belong to only the bedroom. "I am just saying that if you keep it up with that bourbon, you will be very soon. Alcohol poisoning and all. How old are you anyway? Should you even be drinking?"

The last words are like cold water on my head as I find them very familiar. I am so sick. I am sick of people telling me what to do, I am sick of people treating me like a little girl who needs to be looked after, I am sick of being a good girl who never complain, never over-drink, never do wrong, never argue. I am sick of all and I am taking it on him.

"A, it is none of your goddamn business. B, I am pretty sure I am older than the little sluts you invite into your filthy bed, who must be plain stupid if that is how you pick them up, so let's not talk legal. C, I can hold my liquid just fine" my voice is raising with every word until I am shouting the last words. I take a deep breath and I feel somehow lighter. I haven't had an outburst in a really long time and damn did it feel good!

I glance up to see his reaction, with every intention to take joy in his anger but he doesn't look angry. At all. Crap, I can't believe I lost the ability to make someone angry! I just insulted that man very rudely and I don't even know him! I accused him of underage molestation for god's sake!

He looks amused!

His eyes is sparkling like a charismas tree, dancing with mirth.

"Like I just said, very much alive" he murmurs under his breath. "Prove it" he meets my eyes in a challenging look and my first reaction is 'I am in. Bring it on' but I don't know what the hell he is talking about.

"What?"

"You say you can hold your liquid just fine, I say prove it" he shrugs and his blue, blue eyes are daring me. He isn't just looking at me, he is looking through me. I feel bare and not in the dirty fun way. I feel like he sees things in me that I don't even know about myself. I am so freaking curious to see me through his eyes.

"And what if I win?" I raise my eyebrows in a challenge and I don't know if we are flirting or not, I don't care. I am just drawn in, loving the game.

"If I win then you will dance with me, if you win then I will take you a place you have never been to"

"Let me guess, your apartment?" I roll my eyes because that is just really old. He laughs and the sound is music to my ears, real and uncontrolled.

"I like the way you think but no, not my apartment. It is an open place, I promise"

"What makes you think that I would want that?"

"Because you looks like you could use an escape." He answers immediately. "To clear your mind" he adds titling his head and he is so right that I am speechless for a moment.

"And why should I trust you?" I shoot my last protest.

"You probably shouldn't" he shrugs easily. "But I am willing to guess that you are ready to take a risk tonight"

"Two bourbon shots here" I shout to the bartender with my eyes still glued to the beautiful stranger's blue ones. Because damn straight, I am taking a risk tonight. Once the bourbon arrives I grape my glass and he grapes his.

"To Mr. Know It All" I raise my glass toward him in a mocking cheer before I draw the liquid down.

"To Ms. Runaway Bride" he shoots back with a smirk before he drinks his bourbon like a pro. I have to give it to him, he doesn't even flinch.

"You saw that, huh?" I murmur as my hand goes involuntary to touch the ring with the huge stone in my finger. It is breathtaking beautiful but now that I look at it, it is too big for my slender finger, too dominating for my tiny hand. I now realize that the ring doesn't say as much about me as it does about my fiancé.

"It is kind of hard to miss" he shrugs and now I have to roll my eyes on him.

"You think I am marrying for money, don't you?" now, that is getting old. Is it my damn fault that I fall in love with a rich businessman? Now I am doomed to be judged for it for the rest of my life!

"Why would I think that?" he looks totally confused, like the thought never crossed his mind or something but I don't buy it.

"Come on. A young bride with a huge ring? Doesn't take a genius to figure it out" he laughs again and I find myself smiling and getting addicted to the sound even more.

"Oh, honey. If you were marrying for money, you wouldn't be here drinking your feelings and having dear ol' cold foot. You would be busy planning the big wedding where you walk down the aisle to rich boy and rob him of his money slowly and painfully" he speaks seriously but at the end his face breaks into a breathtaking grin that is distracting for a while but once I process what he said, I crack laughing out loud. The laugh is so sudden and involuntary that the sound feels foreign to my own ears. I catch him eyeing me with the same sparkle in his oceans blue shinning even more with curiosity and another emotion I fail to name.

"I am not having a cold foot" I shake my head at him but my face is still smiling. Must be the liquid getting to me.

"Have you set the date yet?" he does that head titling move like he already knows the answer. Like he already won. Oh, I am feeling smug.

"Yes" I almost shout in victory. "Tomorrow, I am marrying tomorrow" and I feel so silly that I have to fight the urge to stick my tongue out at him.

"Then why are you here?" he asks gently and his eyes soften into something that is not pity or even compassion. More like understanding, again like he already know the answer.

I can't meet his eyes anymore. I feel like if he looks at me, I will crack open and all my dark, dark secrets will be out for him to see. I turn to the bar and begin to order another glass although I already feel the alcohol effect on my body. My eyelids feel heavier and my head feels lighter and my body is a little off balance.

"You win" he cuts me off before I order. "How do you take your water?" his eyes serious for probably the first time tonight, determined also.

"Iced" the word escapes my lips before I stop them.

"Iced water for the lady" he orders and once the water arrives. "Come on, drink" he nods toward it.

"I am fine. I told you I can handle my liquid"

"I know" and I believe him, he is not just humoring me. "That is why you won but now I need you to drink that water because I am not a sore loser so I am taking you to that place and I don't want you throwing up on me" he teases. I chuckle and begin to drink the water. "Slowly" he adds.

"I am not a teenager. I know how to drink water after alcohol" I snap because the words are familiar again or because the alcohol is making me cranky. I finish the water and I actually feel better, soberer. Of course, I am not gonna tell him that!

"Keep your claws in, kitten" he chuckles. "No need to get all snappy. Now, come on. You wanna see that place or what?" he throws some bills on the bar and stands to leave.

"Alright but I am not getting into your car" I warn as I stand to follow him.

"Sure you aren't. I could be a rapist or a pedophile, for all you know" he throws over his shoulder at me but I don't miss his mocking smirk. I smack his shoulder without thinking better of it.

"I am twenty two, you asshole"

"Ouch" he rubs his shoulder in a mocking pain and I want to laugh or roll my eyes or smack him again because he is so damn adorable and annoying in the same time, it should be illegal. "Now I know you will be the one doing the molestation tonight" he says and my laughter wins.

"Don't you worry, darling. Your virtue is safe with me" I smirk and make sure to make my voice low, husky and kind of suggestive. I see his eyes darken for a second and I feel the air changing between us. For moment I reconsider going anywhere with him. Somewhere in my drunk mind I know he won't hurt me. But his eyes and his aura scream danger for completely different reasons. He could be glowing red with an alarm going on and on as a warning. And god help me, tonight I am feeling adventurous.

"That would be really comforting if my virtue wasn't long long gone" he winks to lighten the air and it works. We are bantering like old friends which is weird since we just met. I grin at him and push him toward the bar exit.

Once we are out, the fresh air almost knocks me on my ass and although I try to hold my ground I sway a little and just before I fall strong arms is wrapped around my waist uncertain but firm.

"You okay?" he asks breathlessly, softly.

"I am fine" I answer a bit harsher than I want. I don't like that like the feel of his arms around me. I don't like the effect he has on me, his voice, his eyes. They are making me mad, angry…furious. He pulls his hands so fast like I burned him, his face apologetic and there is a hint of fear and embarrassment in his eyes. I soften immediately.

"I didn't mean…I am really sorry, the bourbon is making me cranky and…" I try to manage a half assed apology but he takes pity on me and cuts me off.

"It is okay, really" his face is so understanding which feeds my guilt. "You don't know me. You have no reason to trust me. Maybe it is better if we keep touching to minimum…" he is interrupted by a phone ringing he mentions for me a minute as he reaches into his pocket for his phone but I can hear the sound coming from behind me. I turn around and find a cell phone ringing furiously on the ground. Involuntary I bend down to pick it up and my eyes fall on the caller ID.

"It is Katherine" I say without thinking and his head snaps back to me so fast, almost inhumanly. I hold the phone for him to take feeling all kind of guilty again. He takes the phone from my trembling hand gently. I can see his hand shaking as he stands in front of me, doing nothing but staring at the phone screen as it continues to ring. The ringing stops and he is still staring, frozen. You would think he was a statue of stone or steel if it wasn't for the different emotions playing on his handsome face. Hurt, anger, pain, fury, betrayal, regret, he feels it all. I see them crash his face all in few seconds and finally a mask of indifference is placed firmly. I am watching him, gapping, floored. If you see the indifferent careless look in his eyes now, you will never know what kind and quantity of emotion this man can contain.

"I guess I am not the only one who needs an escape tonight" the words are out and I want to kick myself in the ass. Sometimes I should just shut my freaking mouth up.

"I never said I didn't need it" he smiles sadly but he is not meeting my eyes.

"Is she your girlfriend?" I can't help it, I am curious. I want to hurt her for causing him that kind of pain. I want to hurt her so bad. I shake my head to rid it off the violent fantasies.

He nods curtly. Damn it, why the good ones are always taken?

"Do you wanna talk about it?" because he has been there for me tonight and right now I feel like I will do anything just to make him feel a bit better. I want to make a difference. He looks thoughtful for a moment. His eyes narrow as he considers my offer.

"Only if you are willing to talk too" he says finally.

"Me? But I don't have anything to talk about" I give him my best innocent face. He gives me his bitch-please face so ridiculous that I couldn't keep a straight face. I nod grinning widely. "Okay, we both look like we could use a friend tonight"

**A/N: This time I was I good girl, I wrote a few chapters before I started publishing so I wouldn't be so late! THAT IF you liked it I am kinda of in love with this storyline and I promise it is not a regular affair DE story. Just wait and see, okay?**

**A/N: if there are any FSOG (Fifty Shades Of Grey) fans reading this, then yes. I am using Christian as the third angle in this story. I needed a possessive husband and he was just right for the role. But this story and completely Delena! Christian will not be a main character here but he is needed.**

**And to those who aren't FSOG fans don't worry. First, you don't have to know anything about FSOG to read this story. This is completely different and independent storyline, no BDSM.**

**Christian is not a Dom here! Just a really possessive and persistent husband and feel free to hate or love him but rest assured he is not winning this! This is Damon freaking Salvatore, bitch!**

**A/N: I am still still thinking what this story should be rated and I will leave the choice to you, folks! Want smut? Want to read about Damon wearing off Elena? ;) Or shall we keep this T-rated and stop just before he reaches for the condom? :D**


	2. Chapter 2: A breakthrough or a breakdown

**Here I come again ;). That chapter was supposed to be published on Wednesday _or that is what I planned_ but it was really and I was anxious to know what you guys think of it, plus I have a really weak will power **

**There is some much needed drama in here, but it ends well ;) a Delena well.**

**Enough with the blabbing, on with the show…. **

**Chapter Two: A breakthrough or a breakdown **

"okaaay, so let me get something straight" I exclaim as I rest my feet on my blue eyed stranger/friend 's lap. We are sitting on the floor in a dark room with only a few candles and the moon as light sources, the room actually is three walled since the forth wall is open at the backyard. His definition of an open place obviously, which includes jumping fences and invading private properties. The place he took me to is actually a house, well not his house; it is an old inhabited house. He considers it historical. He has discovered that place when he was little and used to come to hide here when he wanted to be alone. When he get older, he asked around about the house and knew it is in the market for sale but no one dared to buy it since rumor has it, it is haunted. He says he doesn't believe in that crap and one of his dreams is to be able to buy that house one day. It is a beautiful house, I agree, the back yard is a lake for god's sake. And the space makes the sky sounds so clear that you can actually see every star. The view is to die for from here where we are sitting now. He says the sunrise and set here is something out of this world and I believe him. He doesn't sound easy to impress. So here we are, he has been telling me about Katherine like he promised and the more he talk the more I like my earlier thoughts about her. I think chocking will be a painful way to die. "You have been with that…_woman_" Calling her a woman sounds insulting to the entire race. "For years now. You have seen every sign that she was cheating on you, using you and dragging you along with her for years."

"We have been on and off" he cuts me off protesting but I held my hand up for him to stop.

"Let me finish. You decided now to break up with her, why now?"

"I found out she made a move on my brother" he sighs and I gasp.

"While she was with you?" I ask horrified.

"I am not sure" he runs his hand through his hair nervously. He has been doing okay talking about it. It is easier on him than I expected, than he expected. "It happened years ago. I don't know if we were together back there..."

"Wait, it happened years ago and now you react?"

"I didn't know until now" he snaps but I know it is not because of me. He feels guilty, why would he feel guilty about this? She is the only one to blame!

"You know that wasn't your fault, right?"

"He is my baby brother. It was five years ago, which means he was…what? sixteen? And she was almost your age! Will you imagine having the hots for a sixteen old kid, what kind of sick shit is this?" he shouts and I try to control my reaction. I don't want him to think he is scaring me and I don't want to interrupt him. He takes a deep breath and closes his eyes briefly trying to get a grip on his temper. "I am sorry; I didn't mean to yell…"

"It is okay, I understand" I give him a reassuring smile to prove my words.

"I should have seen it before" he throws his head back resting it into the wall behind him. "Every time she was in the house, he would find an excuse to flee" I don't think he is talking to me anymore. "I thought he just didn't like her because let's face it, Katherine is not that likable"

"Did he tell you? How did you know?" I want him to talk, not only because I want to know but also because I think he needs to. He is silent for a long minute that I think he won't answer.

"My father has been sick for months. His heart is failing. He didn't tell anyone because he is just that stubborn but I found out accidently. When Stefan found out, he freaked out. He was always his father's son. Me? I was a mommy's boy" he chuckles humorlessly and I want to ask him about his mother but I don't think it is a good time. "Katherine was in the house when he found out. I came in to the room and she was trying to comfort him or something, I was happy first, I thought they were having a moment and I didn't want to interrupt. But the moment she put her hand on his shoulder and he flinched, I knew something we wrong. I know you don't react that way to someone's touch only because you hate them. You do that when that person had abused you or bad touched you or something" he shakes his head as if to rid it of a bad memory. "And then I heard them talk and I knew. She was acting like it was nothing, like it was no biggie. But I knew that my brother never forgot it." He finally met my eyes and I feel like crying.

The guilt, the pain in his eyes, it is unbearable. I don't know how someone could feel like that and be able to smile, be able to crack jokes and makes me laugh! My heart breaks again when I realize that the reason behind that pain is not that his girlfriend betrayed him, it is what his brother went through. He feels responsible for it, even though he shouldn't. I now know he cares about protecting his brother even more than his love life. "He thought I was happy and he didn't want to ruin it. But he was wrong." He sounds like he is in physical pain and I want to hug him and soothe him. I want to tell him it wasn't his fault. It is not pity, it is just pure understanding."He is my little brother and I should have protected him, not the other way around" the words are coming out of his mouth like they are cutting through his throat in their way out. His fists are clenched so hard that he may be hurting himself without realizing it. He shakes his head several times trying to break out but it isn't working well for him. I feel so helpless.

We are interrupted by a sound that seems like a dog howling and I nearly jump in my place. He chuckles and I almost sigh in relief. If I knew that me jumping in my skin would break his trance, I would have been going all clown on him!

"Calm down. It is just Sparrow" he explains with a grin so wide on his face. He whistles and a brown furring dog come running to us. He stands up and the big dog attacks him immediately, licking his face with great excitement. "Hey, missed you, too buddy" Sparrow answers with another lick. "Listen carefully, okay? We have a guest tonight. She is a pretty girl who is getting married tomorrow…or not. Anyway, I want you to be in your best behavior, deal?" and what even more hilarious is the dog actually nods. I break out laughing heartily.

"You know he can't hear you, right?" I tease in between my laughter.

"Sure he can" he is trying to sound offended but the grin on his face and the sparkle in his eyes are ruining it for him. "Sparrow is really smart" he walks to me and placed the dog between us. I reach a hesitated hand to rub his fur and he is so soft and clean for a dog living in the street.

"Hey" I greet him shyly. We sit in a comfortable silence for moment before I break it. "Is he yours?"

"kinda" he smirks. "I had him since he was few days old but then I brought him here one day and he refused to leave so I left him here. I guess he likes the place just like I do."

"You left him here?" I frown confused. "Didn't you care about him?"

"Of course I do. But he wanted to stay here so I let him go. I was hurt at first but then I understood. I come here to visit and make sure he is okay."

"It is just weird. Why would you leave him here where anything could happen to him?"

"I told you. He is happier here, I could feel it. I miss him but it is his choice" Free Will for pets. That man never ceases to amuse me. "Your turn" he whispers softly.

"What?" because honestly I don't know what he is talking about.

"I told you about Katherine. You promised you will talk too" he glances up at me his eyes aren't vulnerable and pained anyone, they are curious, daring, baring me again.

"I don't really know where to start" I sigh and move to rest my head on his lap beside Sparrow. "Do you mind?" I check if that is okay and he shakes his head reassuring me it is fine but I don't miss the way his eyes widen slightly. It just feels natural and not awkward at all.

"Let's start with why you escaped your bachelorette party tonight? What? you didn't like the stripers?" he wiggles his eyebrows at me playfully and I chuckle.

"I didn't even get to the stripers part. I don't think Christian would have been happy if I did" I press my lips in a thin line picturing my fiancé's reaction.

"Christian? Really, that is his name?" and the bitch-please face is back, I resist the urge to laugh and give him a scolding look instead. "Fine. I won't bitch about the name. And although he sounds like a jealous obsessive asshole, I won't judge him because I don't know him"

"You figured all that just form the name? I must say your Sherlock's skills is impressing" I cock my eyebrows in a mocking disbelieve.

"Not the name, smartass. It is just the fact that he wouldn't want you to have stripers in you bachelorette party. It is like not allowing the birthday girl to eat her chocolate cake! That is just so cruel" he sounds so horrified like it is totally bizarre, it is kind of hilarious actually. I don't resist the small giggle that escapes my mouth.

"A, I have no interest in stripers. B, I wouldn't be comfortable either if he had stripers in his bachelorette party" I scowl on the thought but I know he wouldn't do that.

"Yes, I understand that you wouldn't be comfortable. Who would be? But would you be mad? Would you pick a fight? Would you have the same reaction he would if it was the other way around?" he narrows his eyes at me. Again, like he already knows the answer.

"It is not the same thing" I protest.

"Of course it is." He shakes his head slightly like I am being ridiculous. "Forget about it. That is not even what is bothering you so let's just move on, okay?" I nod so he goes on. "If he is so prefect then why are you having a cold foot? Is that about him or you?" I take my time thinking of an answer to that question and honestly that is the thing I have been thinking about all night till I meet those blue eyes. Suddenly the answer doesn't sound so foggy anymore.

"Maybe I am not ready" I whisper my voice hardly audible to my own ears. It is like if I say it louder, it will be true.

"How long have you been with him?" he questions, his tone matching mine and I realize his hand has been stroking my hair for seconds now and I didn't even know it. It is so comforting that I don't stop him but I resist the urge to lean into his touch.

"Six months" I bit my lower lip already knowing what his reaction will be. His eyes widen and he opens his mouth to protest but I cut him off. "He only proposed two months ago" his eyebrows almost reach his hairline which would have been kind of hilarious if I wasn't feeling like crying. Confusion is the most annoying feeling on earth, I feel like my head is going to explode. He does that deep-breath-eyes-close thing and I am guessing it is an anger management tactic. He opens his eyes again and he seems slightly calmer.

"And do you think that six months is a proper period for you to know someone enough to marry him?" he asks slowly, like he is talking to a five year old kid.

"It is different with Christian than anyone else. Things are a little…intense with him."

"And what about you? Is it the same rate? Are you catching up with him?" he must have see something in my eyes that told him the real answer. "If he is running and you are crawling, there has to be something wrong" he says carefully like he doesn't want to hurt me but he have to tell me.

"I love him. I really do. I don't think there will be anyone else for me out there."

"And how do you know that?" he asks frustrated.

"I do. He is sweet" when he is not really angry. "And passionate. He takes care of me all the time. And he loves me. He _needs_ me. Sometimes I think he can't function without me" I answer as I rouse from his lap and start to pace the room. Even Sparrow can sense the tension in the air so he stands on his four feet and keeps glancing back and forth between us, like the kid whose parents are having a fight. I shake my head to chase the thought away.

"Look, I am sorry, okay?" he stands up as well and walks toward me but keeps a few feet between us. "I didn't mean to pressure you; I am just trying to help you by being the sound of reason here. Maybe it is just not meant to be"

"Do you really believe that?" I cock my eyebrows. He doesn't really seem like the type of person who would believe in 'The One'. I mean come on, Katherine was the only woman he has ever loved and they have been in kind of open relationship for years!

"I am a fatalist" he answers simply and titles his head at me. "Listen, this is like a 101 for marriage! You don't marry because you want that man and definitely not because you want to _please _that man" his words are like punches in the guts, only proving how close to home they hit. I swallow the lump in my throat. "You only walk down the aisle when you are absolutely, completely and certainly sure that this is the man you want to spend the rest of your life with, that when you look into your future, you can't see a future without him" his voice is softer now. I know he can see the wheels turning into my head.

I am not naïve. I am not stupid. I am not a person who can be manipulated by a few words. At least, I'd like to believe I am not. But he is hitting home…hard. Every little dark embarrassing thought, every doubt I tried to chase out of my mind for the past two months, the things that my closest friends wouldn't have the courage to say out loud but said it with their concerned eyes, he is saying it all, voicing them dauntlessly.

I grasp the last straw I have.

"I know" I mimic his anger management move and it works better than I thought. "I can't call this off. Everyone has been working so hard to make it perfect. For me" I feel the threat of tears in the back of my eyes as the truth finally makes an entrance. "And I can't leave Christian or even tell him that I need more time. He would think that I don't want him or that I am not sure about him and he will freak out. I can't hurt him that way. He doesn't deserve it." I don't realize I am crying until I feel the wetness on my checks. I shake my head furiously to confirm my point. Christian has done everything he could to make me happy. I can't disappoint him, not anymore. Suddenly there are hands grapping my face, cubing it gently, fingers wiping the tears of my checks. And deep deep blue eyes are staring at mine, searching, begging.

"You don't have to do anything for anyone, you hear me?" he says softly but firmly. "You don't owe anyone anything. And if you think you are doing the right thing by him, you are wrong" I stare at him wide eyed. "No man would like to marry a woman who is not ready to marry him yet. You will be hurting him way worse if you go on with this uncertainty hanging over your heads. You have to do what _you _want, no matter how hard it will be"

His words float in my head, new and foreign. No one has ever told me to do what I want and consequences be damned. Never have I thought that being with Christian with that uncertain bit in my stomach would hurt him even more than asking him for space. Would it? Maybe that is why he has always been insecure about us...about _me_. How can he trust my feelings for him when I don't trust them myself? Why every time I think about the marriage or look at my ring I feel like the walls are closing in?

Something snaps in me. I know what I want. I want to break free.

I pull away and his hands fall at his sides. I start walking around the room exploring, the couch we abandoned for the floor when we first got in. There is an old phonograph that I haven't seen before. I explore it slowly with my fingertips. The whole room looks like a part of a museum. I raise the needle and place it on the disc record. Soft music fills the room immediately. I turn and walk slowly toward him, he is watching me carefully. Like he doesn't know what I am going to do next.

Good, I am done being predictable.

"I own you a dance" I say as I place my hand gently on his shoulder. His breath hitches slightly but noticeably…satisfying.

"I told you, you won" He makes an effort to sound unaffected but I know better. A smirk similar to his trademark one curves my lips. Because despite his protests his arm wraps around my waist bringing me inches closer.

"I didn't. I was barely able to stand when you cut me off" his hand meets mine half way and we begin to sway slowly, softly, letting the beat of the music consume us, Washing away all worries, pain, confusions and thoughts, branding us new.

After a few moments his arm tightens around me, like he finally lets go of his hesitation. I glance up to meet his eyes and they are so dark, so intense, filled with need, desire, desperation and a hint of fear and confusion. My lips part involuntary and his eyes fall immediately on them. He stares at them for a second before swallowing hard and meeting my eyes again. His pupils are so dilated that you can hardly see the blue in them and I am pretty sure what my eyes are saying. His eyes ask a question and before I do a proper nod his lips are on mine.

Gently at first, asking, testing but almost immediately it turns into something completely different. He groans deep in his throat and the sound is so purely male and spontaneous. The hand on my waist moves up to cub the back of my neck angling my face for better access as his tongue asks for entrance. I open my mouth wide, tasting him and letting him taste me. He does something with his tongue that causes a moan to escape my lips and I bit his lower one hard but not hard enough to draw blood. He makes a sound that looks like a growl as he presses my body closer to his so we are pressed together from head to toes. I am on fire. It is not the alcohol, I know that. But I can feel my blood burning in my veins, I feel the adrenaline flowing into every part of my body, I feel like I can do anything, I feel alive…free.

I push him to sit on the couch. Hard.

I am straddling him and grapping his face, kissing the hell out of him. I scratch the back of his head with my nails and I am rewarded with another groan.

I want more. I want him screaming.

He runs his hands along my sides, still restrained, uncertain. I want him to let go.

I press my body closer to his until there is nothing between us but offending pieces of fibers that I would like to rib to shards. I would be shocked by my bold thoughts if I wasn't so busy trying to unbutton his shirt. He grasps my wrists to stop me and I almost groan in protest. No, scratch that, I do groan in protest.

"Wait…" his voice is pained and breathless and saying absolutely the opposite of the words coming of his mouth."You don't…wanna do this" he is panting hard and his eyes are shut tight. It looks like he is using the last shred of will power to say that. "You are going to regret that. Believe me." He opens his eyes and he is staring at me, his eyes begging, searching, almost wanting me to protest his words. He doesn't want to be a mistake I made in the rush of alcohol and confusion but he wants me, I can basically _feel _just how much he wants me. I don't know what I can do to assure him that he is not a mistake. "You are engaged. You are getting married tomorrow"

Well, now I know what I can do.

I bring my right hand in between us and reach with my left one to my ring finger.

I take off my ring and hold it in front of his shocked panicked blue eyes.

"No, I am not" I say softly, my voice ringing into the silent night. I place the ring on the table beside me without breaking eye contact with him. It takes him a moment to take it all in and the next one his mouth is on mine again.

He is not holding back anymore. And

**Hahaha *evil laugh*. I know I cut just when the interesting part starts but I am just so evil, I can't help it. soo Gia told me I should change the rate and since NO ONE else told me what to do, I felt compelled to write smut! First I thought ughh that is so not my strong suit but I toughed up for you guys and made a FULL smutty chapter. It is ready but I will post it few days later just because I am evil, haha, no, I just like to be two chapers ahead in my writing so I won't be late besides I am so freaking nervous about that smutty chapter since it is my first (chapter :D ) sooo, I think I may give it another editing. If anyone of you sweeties has the time to beta the next chapter, you will be a god-sent. Just PM me **

**Peace out, bitches ;)**


	3. Chapter 3: More than Chemical

**Hello, lovelies just like I said, **_**very**_** little will power, the smut chapter was finished and if I delayed posting it one more day, I may delete it in a moment of weakness. So, here it is…**

**Don't say I didn't take good advantage of the rating change ;) hence the very first word.**

**Chapter three: More than Chemical.**

**EPOV:**

Fuck buttons.

I am so frustrated with the buttons of his shirt so I just rip it open hopping he won't mind. Honestly I don't care at this moment and obviously neither does he. I let my hand room his chest, then his abs. god, he is prefect and I can't get enough. His right hand cups my breast firmly while his thumb glazes the already hard nipple, making me arch my back with a groan. our lips part finally for the mere need for oxygen but his lips don't leave my skin. He turns to my neck making a trail from the back of my ear to the base of my neck, kissing, licking, nibbling and even slightly biting.

Shit, it feels so good.

I am panting, gasping and pulling at his hair. He finds my secret spot and nibble at it hard enough to make me moan and arch my back into him again. The move seems to draw his attention to another place as he reaches behind me and starts unzipping my dress. I sigh, _finally,_ touch me please. I pull his head up roughly kissing him as a sign for encouragement but he doesn't need it. His hand is already rooming my back searching unsuccessfully for the clasp of my bra.

"In the front" I pull to whisper breathlessly against his lips. He sounds confused so I explain "The clasp…it is in the front" I add as I slip the straps of my dress off my arms desperate for his touch. He doesn't waste any time as he in one move he reaches between my breasts and unclasps my bra with a wicked smile on his face.

"Naughty" he murmurs into my neck as he makes a weird swift move when he ducks his head and my arms are wrapped around his neck again, my hands are tangled in my bra behind his head.

How the hell did he do that?

"it is for nobody. I just like them. They are easier" I explain but I don't think he is hearing. He gawks for a moment at my naked chest, his swollen lips are parted. I don't feel exposed or embarrassed, I feel sexy and beautiful. I tug his hair a little rougher than I intent to make his head titles back and up to meet my eyes. "You like what you see?" I ask with a voice that is not my voice. I have no idea what has getting into me but I don't care because I like it, in fact, I love it. His lips curl in a slow smirk but he doesn't answer me.

"Get rid of those for me" he titles his head back mentioning to the bra tying my hands but before I make a move to attempt untangling my hands, he ducks his head again and takes one of nipples on his mouth and tugs it. I groan at the sensation and instead of freeing my hands I dive them into his soft hair holding his head against my chest as he sucks my sensitive nipple. He bites it softly causing me to cry out and then he softens the bite with his warm tongue. He moves to the other breast giving it the same treatment while one of his hands works on the neglected one and his other hand is pressed to my back, fingers spread, holding me closer to his sinful mouth.

I can't take it any longer. I can feel the wetness between my thighs; my core is trembling, aching for release or even the slightest attention. I grind into his more than obvious erection desperate for any friction and he groans against my hard nipple sending waves of delicious vibration into my aching core. I grind into him again hard and roll my hips.

"Stop it or I swear I am gonna come in my pants" he growls and the words causes a wave of pleasure to run into my body. I don't think I can get any wetter.

"We wouldn't want that, would we?" I tease but my voice is husky and breathless betraying my pretended coolness. Fuck it. I free my hands and I reach for his belt unbuckling it with a supernatural skill, pull it out and throwing it behind me. I quickly unbutton and unzip and my prize springs up and into my waiting hand. Bingo!

He goes commando. Who is the naughty one now?

I run my hand up and down his length just one time before he breaks.

"Fuck" he growls in a sexy primal tone that makes me squeeze him automatically. He reaches under my dress and instead of taking off my panties he pushes them aside and run his fingers gently along my folds making me moan loudly.

"Damn it" he groans as he feels my wetness. "You are so wet, baby." He digs one finger inside me suddenly making me cry out. "Is that for me?" he wanders referring to my obvious arousal.

"Hmmmmm" I half nod-half moan. He withdraws his finger as quickly as he puts it in and stops. I open my eyes and glance at him. Oh, he is waiting for an answer.

"Who are you wet for?" he asks again firmly but a small smirk curving his lips says he is teasing me.

"You" I answer boldly, no trace of shyness or embarrassment. "I am wet for you" I add looking into his eyes, putting all the walls down, letting him see how much I want him. His eyes widen slightly and I feel his erection swell even more and twitch in my hand. He is so hard that I fear it hurts. He slips his finger back into me and his thumb starts drawing small circles on my swollen clit. One…two…three…four, he makes a come hither motion with his finger hitting my g-spot perfectly and I shatter. I let go of his erection out of fear of squeezing it too hard and grape his shoulder tightly as I cry out and rid my orgasm on his hand. In a quick move he removes his finger replacing it with his cock.

"God" I gasp at the fullness I suddenly feel. He fits perfectly into me, stretching my walls in all the right places. He hisses and stills. I try to roll my hips singling him to move but he holds my hips immobile.

"Just a sec" He breathes out panting. "I need a sec or I won't last"

"Okay" I answer and let myself relieve in the feel of him inside me. I have never done that before; just enjoy the way he fills me.

True to his words he takes a deep breath. "Ready?"

"Yeah" I nod and he lifts hips pulling almost all the way out and then thrusts hard back. The pleasure is incredible. He suddenly stills inside me and curses under his breath.

"What?" I ask wanting to sound frustrated but it comes out desperate.

"Condom" he explains, his voice tight. Obviously trying to maintain control over himself.

"I am on birth control" I announce and grape his head kissing him just because I feel like it. I start bouncing on him, setting up my own rhythm. He relaxes again and starts meeting my thrusts powerfully. I go faster and harder feeling all kind of powerful and free. He lets go of my mouth and start kissing every spot he can reach on my body, my neck, my shoulder, my collar bone. I feel out of control, alive and beautiful…and I feel like a goddess.

"Shit" he growls as my sex clenches him singling the first wave of my second orgasm and his fingers tighten on my hips thrusting harder and deeper.

"Oh my god" I scream out loud as my orgasm takes over my body. I rid his body at the waves of my earth-shattering orgasm. I dig my hand deeper into his shoulder; my nails biting into his skin so hard that I am afraid I may draw blood.

"Fuck, Fuck, Fuck" he groans. Finally, he grasps my hips in a death grape, thrust deep and he starts emptying himself inside me as I milk him dry. He pulls me in a searing deep kiss, mixing our screams. When we are finished he pulls back and buries his head into my neck breathing hard. He presses a heart-shatteringly tender kisses to my shoulder as his hands runs up and down my almost naked back.

"You think you can stand now?" a few moments later he whispers softly into my ear while he tugs my earlobe with his teeth.

"I...I don't know" because my legs feel like O-jelly.

"Come on. I will help you" he says wrapping his hands around my waist to lift me up gently. Shit, yes, I should have stood earlier since we are finished. Instead I just sat there making him uncomfortable, maybe he is not into cuddling. I feel ridiculous.

"Sorry" I murmur as I feel my checks heat in embarrassment. I step back and start lowering the hem of my dress. Somehow I ended up with my dress around my waist, my upper body completely naked and my panties socked.

"What are you doing?" he asks confused as he stands up. Damn it, he looks hot. His black shirt is hanging open leaving his chest and abs for me to appreciate. His hair is messed up and tossed in different direction and my fingers are responsible. The faint light of the candles playing on his pale skin making it glow. He looks like a dark prince who just came out of one of those erotic novels. I lick my lips involuntary. "I am not done with you yet" he adds seriously as if he is talking about work or global warming! And my heart skips a beat at his words.

"Strip" he orders, his eyes darker than it has ever been. What does he want? A floor show or something? Slowly he shrugs his shirt and let it fall behind him on the coach and just then I know he is serious.

Shit, what is he planning?

I reach for my dress's hem again and start pulling it up. His eyes are holding mine, heated and intense. Crap, I want him again. I rib my dress above my head and throw it somewhere unknown as he kicks his shoes and socks and then he lowers his pants and steps out of them. Both of us are not paying much attention to what we are doing but focusing on the other. He stands there in all his naked glory and I am drinking him in shamelessly. Every inch of him is beautiful, his legs and thighs are muscular and slightly hairy, his 'Willy' looks impressive even in his resting state, his happy tail up to his bully button, his abs are prominent but not in the over-muscular way, in the lean smoothly hard way, his chest has a light dark hair, his collar bone, his shoulder, his strong jaw and finally his face. He is cocking his eyebrow at me expectantly and I remember that I still have my panties on. Opss.

I pull the waistband of my panties letting it fall to the floor and then step out of them. He just stands there like I did; drinking me in and I let him. He licks his lips and then bite his bottom one as his eyes rooms my body hungrily. Fuck, if he keeps looking at me like this, I swear I will come again while standing here and make a fool of myself. A moment later, he steps closer to me and stroke my check with the back of his fingers. The gesture is surprisingly affectionate; you don't do that in a one-night stand fuck. I figure I don't mind it. In fact, I like it.

"You are so beautiful" he looks so sincere that I don't think he is giving a compliment, just stating a fact that he believes. He sighs softly and let his fingers brush my checks, my lips, my chin. Eventually, he cups my face and pulls me for a sweet gentle kiss that is first for us. We are both standing completely naked, kissing in a completely non-sexual way. He pulls back oh-too soon and smiles a shy sweet smile that I immediately adore.

"Lay down" he says softly and hell I will follow him anywhere, do anything if he keeps talking and looking at me like this. The room doesn't have a bed so I lower my body to the Persian rug on the floor and find it unexpectedly comfortable. He sinks down on his knees and I am too busy admiring his easy grace to care that I am completely naked and exposed lying on the floor.

"Comfortable?" he asks while he brushes his fingertips along my clave.

"I am prefect" I answer too quickly, trying to hide the effect his mere touch is having on me.

"Hell yes! You are prefect" His eyes rooms my naked body. He places his hands on my ankles. His grip is loose but involuntary I open my legs and I hear him chuckle, his eyes dancing with mischief. I glare at him.

"Patience, love" he teases as he lets his hands run slowly up my claves to my thighs, my hips, my sides, my arms, my shoulders and then back down to my breasts, my stomach, my belly button, my navel, my thighs again and back to my foot. His touch feels heavenly although he doesn't linger at my breast or go to my promised land. He is not touching to arousal, he is touching to memorize. He is treating my skin equally, like every inch is just as important as the other. The revelation leaves me feeling like a goddess all over again, even though I am not the one taking control now. When he reaches my feet I half-expected him to ask me to roll on my stomach so he can give my back the same treatment and although it may be a little uncomfortable, I know I won't hesitate if he asks.

Instead, he bends and bites my big toe in each foot playfully but surprisingly arousing. "Open wide, Love. Let me taste you" he grins at me causing me to giggle automatically. "I am gonna kiss every inch of your body" he deadpans. And my giggles fly out of the window.

And man, he does well in his word. That is exactly what he does until I am squirming under him begging for release all over again. I have half mind of just grapping his head and riding his mouth into my oblivion but before I snap he finally positions his head facing my promised land but instead of going straight for the kill, he blows gently at my heated sex sending shivers through my spine. After a moment that was so long for my taste he runs the tip of his tongue quickly from my asshole up to my clit just once causing my hips to jerk up involuntary.

"Down, tiger" he chuckles and places his hand finger spread on my stomach holding me down. "We are just getting started" he adds seductively, his blue eyes dancing with the glee of a five-year old boy playing his favorite game except it is far away from innocent glee. I breathe deeply and try to relax my muscles._ Just lay down and absorb the pleasure_, I repeat to myself over and over again as he drives me crazy with his mouth but once he starts fucking my sex with his tongue I lose the battle of wills and let my fingers sink into his hair riding his tongue. He doesn't seem to mind judging by the moan that vibrated from his throat to my sex magnifying my pleasure.

"Fuck…Shit… that feels…" I am losing my vocabulary and my eyes roll back in my head when he digs two fingers inside me with his lips and tongue working on my clit. I am fucking dying. I am going to die. Finally the building pleasure resolve into a body wrecking orgasm whose waves seems to go on forever. Suddenly he pulls his tongue and his hands from me.

"Let's see how flexible that sexy body can be" Before I get to protest, still on his knees between my open legs, he slides his hands under my shoulders to my back, my behind, the back my thighs, lifting my legs to wrap them around his neck. He slams his super hard cock inside my still orgasming core. My walls squeeze him hard dancing to the waves of my non-stop orgasm. That position is so tight, it almost hurts but it feels oh-so good to give it up. He starts thrusting into me immediately; his rhythm is unforgiving, hard, deep and fast. It is almost impossible considering how a tight fit we are in this position but possible considering my wetness. I hook my ankles behind his neck and meet his thrusts with an equal favor.

"Holy shit" his eyes are shut tight. "Baby, you are so tight. You feel so goo..." he doesn't finish as he hisses when I clench him tightly again. I am not doing it; I think I am still orgasming considering that intense pleasure rocking my body. The sound of our breathing and flesh slapping into flesh is filling the room. His heavy balls are slapping ass lightly with each powerful thrust. My hand has a mind of its own as it reaches and cubs his balls firmly.

"Holy mother of god! Who are you, woman?" he says in one ragged breath and starts rubbing my swollen clit gently. It is so sensitive that I cry out the moment he touches it and the waves of pleasure won't stop.

"I…I can't stop…can't stop coming" Talking seems like a real effort now. And forming sentences is much harder. He runs his hands up and down my legs but he doesn't stop thrusting into me. I feel my legs starting to ach but the position is too good to complain. He turns his head and place a tender kiss on my ankle before unhooking my legs and lowering them so they rest around his hips. He bends down to snitch my lips in a deep passionate kiss while he slides his hands under me and lift me up with him, never losing his rhythm for one second. Now, we are nose to nose, chest to chest. The new position is just as tight as the previous one but it is so intimate that I close my eyes.

"Open your eyes" he growls, his control beginning to slip. My eyes fly open and the look in his eyes is so intense, so intimate but I can't look away again, I feel like he is undressing me all over again, diving into me in every way, daring me to resist his crashing invading. I am hooked; his eyes are the most memorizing thing I have ever seen. His lips brushes mine slightly as he whispers "Keep them open" He takes my mouth in another kiss and even though my mind hasn't yet to process his request, my eyes are still wide open. My body seems to obey him even when I don't. The thought scares me a little so I push it away. We are kissing, all tongue and teeth, eyes open while he bounds into me. The sensations are something out of this world. I roll my hips with a grind earning myself a low groan from him and wrap my hand around his neck kissing him like no tomorrow, letting everything I feel show in the kiss. My walls are all down.

After a lot of cursing, kissing and screaming, he collapses on his back with me laying on his chest in a sweaty panting mess. Our legs are still tangled in a not so comfortable way but I am too gone to care now. When I finally rearrange my raging breathing, I try to roll over but he just holds me tighter and kisses my temper.

"You cold?" he asks while gently nuzzling my forehead with his check. His stubbles are one-day old and it feels good against my skin.

"Uh uh" I answer shaking my head lightly.

"Hmmm" Still, he keeps running his hands up and down my back, his thumb stroking my spine in a comforting way. I nuzzle his chest with my face involuntary and his light chest hair tickles my skin causing me to shiver. My lids feel heavier than ever and I feel myself slipping into oblivion.

"You awake?" I think I hear him whisper but my mind is foggy so I am not sure then I feel a low chuckle vibrating his chest and a soft mattress being tucked around our tangled bodies.

A whispered "Goodnight" is the last thing I hear followed by a tender light kiss on my forehead.

_Goodnight, Stranger. _Is my last thought before I travel to the land of dreams.

**DPOV:**

The sunlight hits my face arguing me to open my heavy lids but I am not going to. My lips curve into a smile involuntary as I remember the dream I had last night. I meet a girl but she wasn't just any girl. She is a phenomenal. And it wasn't her alarming beauty or her sexy alluring halo that pulled me in most as it was her eyes.

Damn those eyes.

No, she wasn't a dream. She was _real._

The girl has eyes that make you able to read her like a book and just when you think you know what you are doing there, you get lost. She got me thinking in a moment that I figured her out and then she surprises the hell out of me in the next moment. She seems like the typical nice girl, kind, compassionate, gentle and naïve but in the inside…she is something else. I can almost see the fire glowing inside of her, aching to be let out; I did see a glimpse of it every time she gets a little feisty. She could be fierce, bold, and passionate only if she manages to shake out the sand she buried her fire under. Was it her who buried it? Or _him? _

The thought of him makes me surprisingly feeling sick so I push it out of my mind. I just met the girl last night and now I am getting jealous of the mere thought of her ex. What did she do to me?

Well, that is one loaded question. Because she did _plenty._

But first she got me laughing and joking without a care in the world although when I walked into that bar I had every intention of drowning myself in whisky and passing out eventually. She got me forgetting all my crap and focusing on hers. She got me caring and ditching my self-destructive plan for her. To give her an escape, because she needed it. I knew it. That is the thing with her, I can just look at her and _know_ what _she _needs and then have that persistent urge to give her whatever she desires.

Because come on, how can you even begin to try to resist those wide doe eyes? It is almost cruel how compelling they are.

But most of all the girl had me blabbing and talking about my _feelings_ in a way I never did with anyone _not when I am sober, and I was sober last night_ and what's worse is that I _wanted to. _ It is like I couldn't resist her questioning eyes, all my walls, all my guards were down, conquered, beaten and defeated. Helpless, yet the king of my own world.

The girl…

Shit, I don't even know her name yet!

We have been a little too busy last night. I chuckle as I remember how she almost passed out on me _ not because of the alcohol, only dear ol' me_. God, she made me remember the good days of my college years, my stamina was a novelty back then, well _is _a novelty considering last night. I finally open my eyes lazily, hoping to get a good replay after I ask her about her name…or before. When my eyes adjust to the room light, I glance around the room and realize there is no one but me.

I feel my heart sinks.

Maybe it really was a dream. I shake my head, no, it was real. I know it was. God, I can still taste her on my lips, she was real. Where the hell did she go? A small paper on the table catches my eyes and hope creeps into my chest. Well, she did leave a note after all. I reach up to grape it because last night we ended up on the wooden floor…somehow. The thought brings a smirk to my face which falls and is replaced by a frown when I read the note, it only includes one word, no signature, no phone number, just one four lettered word.

_**Fate**_

**Opsss…here goes the morning after! And they don't know each other names yet so we didn't get to hear Elena screaming Damon's name sorry but it serves my plot. I don't want them to have any way to find each other, not even a way to try. The only thing that tied them is that place and the only thing that could get them together again is **_**fate.**_

**Soooo, who needs a cold shower?! I know I do because dammit that was hot! in my mind at least, Idk how if I delivered it right but the picture of Elena laying naked in a Persian rug while Damon's run his hands along her body! Okay, cold shower needed!**

**A/N: I didn't want Elena comparing ANYTHING with Christian! In this night she thought of Damon and only Damon. Christian will have his moment and I will let you guys decide if you would like to read about Elena having sex with Christian. The differences will be clear but I am not gonna compare their dicks size! Just the way Elena **_**feels **_**with each one of them ;)**

**You, the FSOG fan! I see you and you are yelling that Christian is a god in bed! I know that, in fact, I depend on that! It is not about feeling **_**good physically, **_**it is about feeling **_**good emotionally and mentally. **_**So don't get mad if Christian comes out a **_**little **_**bit of a manipulative possessive selfish psychopath…just a little **

**I don't **_**hate **_**Christian! But when talk about using sex to get what you want, Christian is a **_**Master **_**_pun intended_**_**.**_

**I want to say, to prove that Delena is not all about **_**sex! **_**Delena is understanding, love, trust, protection. Delena is about taking care of your partner, standing by their side, and giving up your happiness for them.**

**That is Delena! And That is how we rule!**

***Delena feels***


	4. Chapter 4: Crawling back to you

**Sooo, you guys liked last chapter that makes me very happy and smug :D I can do it, people! Be proud, mama…well, maybe not ;)**

**18 reviews for three chapters! You guys are awesome *hugs and kisses* you made me so happy and itching to update so here I am **

**See I am an attention monster. Attention fuels me so give it all to me and I will be your slave ;)**

**Remember the very beginning of chapter one when Elena was sitting with Sparrow in the house, two months after THAT night, well, we are back to that day but it is still Damon's POV, enjoy: **

_**Now:**_

I drop my head in my hands and rub my face. God, I am tired. I feel like I am on edge, that all I need is one more little pressure and I will explode. The reasons are hard to count and the mere thought of any of them makes my head pounds even more. Shit, I need help.

My cell phone ringing interrupts my downing thoughts and my head snaps up and I grape it immediately, just like I do every time it rings during the last two months. I know I must be crazy to even consider the possibility that it may be her but I can't help it. I feel like I am in hell and waiting for my guardian angel to come snitch me up. How pathetic is that!

My face falls once I get a good look on the caller ID. It is Stefan. I immediately ignore the call and drop the phone. I am so not in the mood for another lecture from my baby bro. one awful truth I am willing to admit to myself, my father isn't getting any better. The bastard has always thought he was special. And boy, was he right! His rare blood type is making it almost impossible to find him a new heart. He is getting worse and you would think that will bring me and my brother closer but no, not a chance, quite the opposite actually. Because you see, I and my baby bro have completely different dealing mechanism. He is all about holding hands, talking about good old memories, and telling father how much he means to him. Me? I know my dad and if there is one thing I am my father's son in, it is that there is nothing we hate more than being babied and given too much attention, especially when we need it, especially when we are vulnerable.

The damned sin of pride that we share.

Besides I have never been the gentle nice son. I am the rebel, the divergent and frankly the disappointment. I never followed his rules. I abandoned the family business for a career of my own choice. Then why do I change that now? If I even attempt to do so it will be like a big fucking sign saying 'I am being nice and supportive for the first time only because you are going to die soon'. Hell no, I am not doing this. I'd rather do it my way by making sure he gets everything he needs while I am keeping my distance. Of course, that doesn't go well with Stefan. He thinks I don't care and I really don't expect him to understand because in this he is like our loving dead mother, all about love, support and compassion. He can't even begin to understand the messed up logic I share with my old man. So I let my brother hate me for it.

I let my miserable self be completely and truly alone.

My brother isn't talking to me and when he does it is all blame and guilt tripping, sometimes even anger and disgust. My only two friends are not available. Enzo had decided to flee some feelings he has for a girl that he never talks about. It was easy for him, he just bought the ticket and jump on a plane to Australia, he says to visit his mother's family but I know better. At one of our drinking nights, he started blabbing about a girl he has been in love with since forever but will never have. I wish it was as easy for me to just…flee. I wanna run from all this. even Meredith is no place to go to now, if anything she is the one needing comforting _although I am no good in that department_ , her husband Joseph is lying on a bed somewhere in this hospital fighting an uneven battle with the cancer that spreads in his body in the cruelest way. We are like a one damned community unit. Or maybe I am the screw up who is messing up the equation.

It doesn't matter, though. And it doesn't change or even shake the loneliness I am bathing in. I feel so pathetic. I'd really like to pretend that I don't need any of them to be complete, that I don't feel like a disappointment all over again every time I sneak into my dad's room and watch his weak sleeping form which I can do nothing to change. I'd like to pretend that I don't feel like shit every time my brother looks at me with hate, anger and sadness, like I have disappointed him too. Maybe I did.

I'd like to pretend that I don't miss her, too. That I don't think of her more than I should. I'd like to pretend that she meant nothing to me, no more than I meant to her, a one night stand, a means to an end, a way to prove that she can break free of the hold her own mind has on her. I shake my head to chase the thought of her away. Thinking of her is not going to make me feel any better.

"Rough day?" a gentle familiar voice wonders pulling me from my own head. I glance up to find Meredith leaning against the door frame with her tiny arms crossed on her chest and her lips curled into a small sympathetic smile. I don't miss how much weight she lost in the past couple of weeks and Damn it she was already always a tiny thing. Now she seems like she might disappear in her scrubs. I also don't miss the bags under her gray eyes. But I don't dare say a word about any of this as I don't think I look any better. It doesn't mean I don't still feel like a shitty friend.

"Rough month!" I answer back letting a smirk curl my lips to lighten the mood.

"Yeah, tell me about it" she rolls her eyes and step into the room. One of the perks of being in this dumbass hospital is having my own office where I can have my pity parties alone and away from prying eyes. Dear Meredith can't take that shit, even when she has her own load of crap to deal with. She sits in the seat across from me while I am behind my desk, Meredith always the professional. She can invade your personal mental and emotional space but never your physical personal space. Keeping people at arm length applies only literally for her. "What is wrong?" she finally asks the damned question.

"Nothing. Everything is just peachy" I grin trying to make my escape.

"Fine" she sighs.

"What?" I ask letting my eyes widen in surprise. "You are just going to let me off the hook that easy?" it is too good to be true.

"It is no good, Damon" she shakes her head. God, she sounds so tired. "no matter how hard I press, you always refuse to talk and we both end up tired as hell" she throw her hands up in the air and then let them fall with a sad sigh. "I just wish Enzo was here" she adds in a small voice that is so rare for Meredith. Meredith is always strong, independent. She never show weakness or need for anybody. Maybe that is why we have been friends for a ridiculously long time. "He would know what to do with you. He is the only one who can get you to talk"

"A, that only happens when he gets me drunk and in which state I would talk to Oprah herself. B, Believe me. There is nothing to talk about"

"You father is dying" she deadpans and I surprisingly flinch at the thought. "You just decided to cut all the ties with the only constant woman in your life" she is referring to Katherine. She just can't get it into her thick skull that I didn't give Katherine a thought since I broke up with her for good. She is so not my problem.

"You are the only constant woman in my life, Meredith" I protest with a full pout face still trying to change the subject.

"Your best friend is out of States" she goes on ignoring me completely. "And your brother is being a dick. So you don't get to tell me you are fine" she spits her last word and runs her hands through her perfectly curled her and all I think about is the browned eye girl with a hair of the color of chocolate doing the same nervous move when I was trying to make her see reason. The thought leaves me irking. I want to hurt.

"But you get to do that? You can't possibly try to sit here and bitch about me burying my _feelings_ as if your life is full of rainbows, _Doctor"_ I spit out and she flinches. I know I am being a dick but the gun is triggered and there is no going back from that dark place now.

"It has been hard" she closes her eyes and I know she is trying to swallow back her tears.

"Hard? That is a pretty bad word to describe it, Meredith, don't you think? I know Joseph is the love of your life so it isn't just _hard" _her eyes fly open and she stares at me.

"I know what you are trying to do, Damon" Shit, she didn't just say that damned sentence. Oh, and she is giving me that _look. _I hate that _look. _I hate that she knows me that much, that I can't just hurt her and push her away. "You are hurt so you are trying to hurt me back. You are trying to push me away. How many times do I have to tell you that before you believe it won't work?"

"I don't know. How many times do I have to tell you that I am fine before you believe that I am fan-fucking-tastic?" with that last shoot I grab my leather jacket and leave the damn office and the damn hospital.

I need a freaking break.

I have no idea what kind of natural or supernatural force made me drive to my dream house today. I tell myself that I am only checking on Sparrow, just like I told myself the few times I lost the battle of wills and came back to this place. But today I also tell myself that I need to calm and clear my packed mind and that is always the best place for me to do so. Well, at least used to be.

Because every single time I came into that place during the past two months I am haunted by the brown eyed girl who stole my breathe and left me high and dry without as much as a four lettered word!

I am beginning to believe in that rumor saying this place is haunted although I don't think a living being can _haunt _a place! Must be my sick mind.

And just like the coward I am, I don't get inside the house. I go straight into the back yard and start walking aside the lake with my hands in my pockets and my head bowed down. I frown when I walk for a few minutes and I see no sign of Sparrow. He usually senses my presence and comes looking for me. I glance up and look around. Automatically my eyes fly to _that _room. And I find Sparrow but he is not alone. He is cuddled with a petite brunette that I can't see her face. I whistle for Sparrow to come and start walking toward the mysterious girl. I should be leaving, it is a private property and I could get into trouble but the girl's form looks so fragile that I don't sense any danger from her, besides she is after all _a girl _, I am pretty sure I can charm my way out of a situation involving a female. Sparrow starts to run toward me leaving his happy place and the girl raises her head startled and I can finally see her face. I stop dead in my tracks and even the world seems to stop around me for a few seconds. Despite the distance I will never forget this face.

Well, there _is _a danger anyway.

My first impulse is to run, snitch her and kiss the hell out of her. But then I remember what she did. She left me. That night I spent with her with one of the best nights of my goddamn life and when she vanished I felt kinda of… used and _that _was a first for me. I often use girls, they don't use me. Even Katherine didn't use me like this. Yes, she never stayed in the morning but it never bothered me. Why does it bother me now? Why am I so mad at her for leaving?

_Because for the first time you wanted to wake up next to a girl, you wanted to see her sleepy smile. You wanted to kiss and fuck her good morning. You wanted to matter to her like she mattered to you._

Ooooh, that voice! I haven't heard that voice since I was a teenager and even back then it wasn't that needy! What the hell? Am I having a mid-life crisis in my twenties?

Lost in my thoughts I didn't notice that she is up and walking toward me even though I haven't taken my eyes off her since I saw her. I don't think I even blinked out of fear she would disappear or something!

I will not be weak. I will stand my ground and demand answers. Why did she leave? What did she do with her wedding? What does that all mean?

What is her fucking name?

She steps closer to me and now we are at least ten feet apart. Her steps are hesitated and broken, I am tempted to study her face again and I notice that it is flushed like she has been crying or about to cry. Her eyes are teary and she is biting her trembling bottom lip.

And all my toughing up thoughts flee.

She must have seen something in my face because she is rushing to me and she is suddenly in my open arms, her arms around my neck, her face buried in my shoulder. I have no control over my arms that wrap around her body welcoming it home and I can't help but sigh in relief that she is –after all- finally in my arms again.

What the fuck is wrong with me?

Once she feels my arms wrapped around her a sob breaks from her throat followed by many others wrecking sobs. I just held her tighter and shushed her, whispering smoothing words into her ears, every sob leaving her body causing something in my chest to tighten.

I don't know if I am possessed by some angle or demon or any other fuck but that is certainly not me. I never ever ever knew how to deal with crying women so I avoided it at all costs. It happened once with Meredith when she first knew about Joseph's cancer crisis. She was sobbing whole-heartly beside me and I was clueless. Eventually I patted her shoulder awkwardly and she chuckled and told me that I was the worst at comforting women. At least I got her to stop crying, right?

But the girl in my arms won't stop. She is crying like she haven't cried in ages and I want her to stop. Not because I am annoyed, because I just discovered that her crying must be one the worst things that happened to me in the last months. And what happened was a lot!

Something in this girl calls to me, wakes things in me that I never thought I had. Enzo once told me that when it comes to _your_ girl, you are a completely different person but yet you are the most real you. I never understood that sentence and I don't think I never will.

Eventually she pulls away and stares up at me. My hands go automatically to wipe her tears. I will be shocked by how my body is a slave to her needs if I wasn't so busy studying her eyes.

Confusion, relief, guilt, longing and even sadness, I can see it all clearly in her doe eyes. She licks her lips tasting her tears and my eyes finally leave hers and travel along her tear strained face down to her pouty lips. They look so red and swollen, like she had just been kissed hard. I scold myself internally on my dirty thought. _The girl was just crying her eyes out and you are thinking about kissing her __**and **__getting hard on the thoughts. You truly are a dick, Salvatore._

I make myself look up to her eyes and I have no idea which is harder to resist. Her eyes are wide now, not sad or confused any more, they are darkening in a way I am very familiar with. I know exactly what that look means. And maybe I am masochist because the next thing I know I am kissing her like a drowning man holding to his lifeline. Or maybe I am. I have no idea how this girl maybe the solution of all my problems. I am not expecting her to do anything, to be anyone, I just want her to be here, to be her. I know I will be alright if she does. I also have no idea where those thoughts came from.

I am tasting her surprise, then her relief, then her desire. I am tasting her salty tears and her sweat lips and there is no better flavor than this. When her surprise passes she starts kissing me back. Something possesses me to reach for her hands and I almost yell in joy and relief when it is confirmed there is _no ring_ in her finger. I let myself sink back into the kiss. I missed the feel of her small hands messing my hair as she kisses me like it is the end of the world. I missed the way she moans when I caress her tongue with mine. I missed the way she gasps when I bit her bottom lip a little too hard. I missed the way she feels in my arms, the way she fits around my body.

I missed _her_, period.

"I missed you" she gasps out in her first breath when pull away from the need of oxygen. I can feel my pants tightening already but I know we should talk. I know talking is the right rational thing to do right now but I can't resist ducking my head again to snitch her sweet lips in one last peck because fuck, I can't get enough.

"I broke up with Katherine" is the first thing to me out of my mouth. No idea why, thou. "For good. No more Ms. Bitchy" I let my forehead drop to hers and a grin makes its way to my face even though I am still panting a little.

"Good" she is nodding with her eyes closed, her forehead still pressed to mine. "You did the right thing" she adds with a small smile touching her lips.

"So did you" I whisper and bring her empty finger to my lips kissing it to let her know what I am referring to. I feel her tense in my arms. Well, maybe she is not comfortable talking about it yet. It is okay. I will give you time, baby. _Who the fuck are you and what did you do to the Damon Salvatore I know and loathe?_

A phone ringing interrupt our moment and she pulls away and step back. I feel the loss of her in my arms immediately and curse myself for being so needy for the first time in my life. She pulls her phone out of her pocket and glance at the screen before throwing it back in her jeans. I like her in jeans.

"I am sorry I have to go" she says in a rush and I feel my heart sink. No, she is no fucking doing this again. I won't allow it.

"Will I see you again?" is the pathetic sentence I manage out instead of the ragging yelling inside me. I don't want to sound clingy so I let a smirk curl my lips to look like I am teasing. She looks hesitated for a moment and I resist the urge to let my smirk drop and held my ground. I consider turning on my heels and forget the fuck about her but she saves the day.

"Sure" she breathes out finally and a bright smile break into her face. "Tomorrow? Same place, same time?" her eyes are all wide and hopeful again. I nod so I don't yell a _yes, yes _or pump my fist in the air…or both. She gives me one last smile before she starts to leave.

"Wait" I still have some brains cells after all. She stops and turns back to me "What is your name?" I feel dump but shit I want to know her name. She blushes and smiles a shy sweet smile. I resist the urge to close the distance and kiss her again.

"I am Elena" _Elena, _even her name is beautiful. "You?"

"I am Damon. Nice to meet you, Elena" I let her name roll of my tongue, tasting it. I want to say it over and over again.

"Pleasure meeting you, Damon" my name is all new and sweet and different in her voice. I want to hear it in her sleepy voice, in her angry voice. I want to hear her moaning, breathing and screaming it when take her into the land of pleasure again.

"The pleasure is all mine, Malady" I make a slight bow with a smirk in my face as I manage not to say her name again.

_Pleasure indeed! _

**Third person POV:**

Once Elena settles in her car behind the wheel, she gives one last look to the house that means a lot to her than she is willing to admit before she opens her bag and fishes a diamond ring out of it. She holds the ring in front of her face, letting the sunlight make it shine. Eventually she slips it into my ring finger and immediately feels the weight of it. Something tells her that it is not just because the weight of the rock, the reason why she always takes it off when she can but now she is going back to work, Back to Grey Publish House where she is _after all_ _Mrs. Grey_.

**Bom, bom, laka booom! Sorry, Elena is married after all! Like you all requested there will NOT be Non-Delena smut . What to know why Elena lied to Damon? Or at least didn't tell the truth? Is there a difference? **

**What do you think of DPOV so far? I hope you don't think it is too emotional because give the guy a break! Everything in his life is going to hell and right now Elena is the only light in his dark tunnel. Also if you wanna make Damon a little tougher, let me know. He will soon be his cocky cool self that we love but just give him a minute. He is not in love with her or something, I don't believe in fast love. The slow burn is coming in the way and neither one of them will admit anything easily! Just wait to see how fucked up and beautiful I see my Delena ;)**

**How do you feel about BDSM? NOT the whips and punishment and that shit. Just playful sexy play? Nothing too rough? I am so not into the SENCEs, I mean seriously I don't want to ACT while I am having sex, that is just so fake. But just imagine Damon bound and begging Elena to let him come and visa vice. What do you think?**

**What do you think of Meredith? I know it is a bummer that Enzo is in Australia but don't you worry, he will be back and rollin' soon for his **_**mate. **_


	5. Chapt5:The Ones Who Write My Life Story

**Yes, yes, I know I am late. It has been like, what? Two weeks?! WTH!**

**No, I didn't disappear on you like I did in my other stories. Still here. You won't get rid of me that easily .**

**I was late because:**

**A, I was mourning Damon Fucking Salvatore. He is dead, people! Can't a girl have a crying fit every century and half?! I thought I died with him. And Elena broke my heart with the Wings song. And Bonnie…don't even get me started on this!**

**But hey, at least Alaric is back!**

**That remains me of S3 finial when they crashed us with 'it is always gonna be Stefan' then they gave us DE first meeting to give us something to be happy about!**

**Seriously, guys if I get started talking about the finial, you won't get to read that chapter. But I'd REAALLY like to hear your thought **

**Soooo…on with the chapter**

**EPOV:**

**Chapter five: The Ones Who Write My Life Story**

**The wedding** **day, two months ago:**

_I have been pacing the room for a few minutes, running my hands in my hair so many times that my fingers start to ash. I know what I have to do, then why is it so fucking hard now?_

_I managed to sneak into my hotel room in the Four Seasons without alarming any of the girls. Most of them are probably passed out from drinking so much so it wasn't too tricky to escape them. I showered and changed into a simple sundress. Then, I made my way to the hotel Christian is staying in and the receptionist gave me the room keycard because he knows me from the time Christian took me here before. And now the easy part is over. Time to face the music. He is thankfully in the bathroom so I have some time to myself._

_"Christian, we need to talk" I say to the floor length mirror as I imagine his face when I tell him the next words. What do I say? 'I am sorry but I am not ready'? too straight to the point. 'I love you but I need more time'? I can almost see his face breaking; hear him accusing me of not loving him enough to spend the rest of my life with him. _

_How do you tell the man that has always been there for you, that will do anything to take care of you, the man who came into your life when it was falling apart and was the one to pick up the pieces, how do you tell that man you don't want to marry him? To give him the only thing he has ever asked you for? _

_I hear the bathroom door opens but I am frozen in my place. He stops in his tracks when he sees me and then starts walking toward me. I am still staring at my reflection but I can see him behind me. In black dress pants and white shirt with the first three buttons open, his black tie hangs untied on his shoulders, his hair is still wet from the shower and a few bangs have fallen over his forehead, he looks like a modal who just stepped out of a fashion magazine, absolutely gorgeous. But then again, he always has been. He walks until he is right behind me and then wraps his arms around me and rests his chin on my shoulder. I resist the urge to tense in his arms and let my eyes meet him in the mirror._

_"Elena" he whispers as he presses an open mouthed kiss on my shoulder. I close my eyes and try to keep my cool. __**Stay strong, Elena. **__"I heard you disappeared last night" Shit! Caroline couldn't just keep her mouth shut! She had to go and tell my overprotective fiancé that I went MIA! I go limp in his arms already expecting a storm._

_"It got too much for me. You know Caroline" I press my lips in a hard line for good measure. "I figured I would flee before the stripers crash the party" I feel him stiffen behind me immediately, a frown clear on his face._

_"There were stripers?" he questions in a harsh low tone that immediately send shivers through my spine, not the good ones. His arms tighten around me._

_"I didn't see any" I correct aiming for a good save. "But I expected Caroline to do it so I took caution"_

_"She shouldn't. She should know better than to do so. And you can't let her chase you away from your own party" he scolds in a way only Christian can._

_"She didn't chase me away! I told you I get overwhelmed a little it happens!" his frown replaced by a glare alarms me that I have taken a __tone __with him. I suppress a sigh and try to calm my nerves. "It doesn't matter, now. She did her best and the party was awesome. I just needed sometime to myself" __here it comes. Come on, Elena. Say it!_

_"Listen, Christian…" I start, trying to pull away from his arms. he lets me go._

_"Wait. First I have something for you" he holds his finger up for me with a grin so wide and so rare on his handsome face. He goes to his nightstand and pulls a fill from the drawer. "I was planning on giving you that after the wedding but I just couldn't wait" he hands me the fill waiting for me to open it. The excitement is radiating out of him as he bite his bottom lip. My curiosity gets the best of me and I open the fill._

_Oh. My. God._

_"Christian…" I am at loss of words. "I can't accept that…" he must be insane!_

_"It is your wedding present, Elena. I am not taking no for an answer." He cuts me off, his face serious, his voice stern. I know that Christian, it is 'don't argue with me because you will never win' CEO Christian. _

_"You are crazy. No one gives a damn company as a wedding present! And how the hell will I be able to run this thing?" I think I am panicking. He cups my face gently forcing me to meet his calm gray eyes._

_"Breathe, baby. Breathe with me" he starts to breathe slowly and I follow his lead. It is something we did a lot before. When I used to wake up in the middle of the night chased by nightmares of my parents death. I am calmed after a few minutes. The feeling of déjà vu remains me of what this man has gone through with me for the past six months. For me. I feel a bang in my chest when I realize what I was about to do to him. What I already done to him. I feel the wetness on my checks before he uses his thumbs to wipe away my tears. Another feeling of déjà vu hits me when I remember different hands wiping my tears few hours ago. I can't believe I have betrayed the only person who has been there for me. "Hush, baby. You can do it. I know you can. I trust you. I told you before, Elena. And I will tell you again. From this day on whatever is mine is yours. I will bring the world under your feet, baby. All I want is you." his words are my trigger and I break into a sobbing mess on his shoulder. What have I ever give to this man? He gave me everything he has and all he asked for was __me.__ And I failed him, even the only thing he wanted I couldn't give him. Because I was so damn selfish and reckless. _

_I am sorry, Christian. I will never do it again. Please forgive me._

_He pulls my face up to examine my eyes. "What is it, baby? Tell me" his gray eyes are begging, pleading, searching. I hate my selfish sinning self. I can't loss Christian. He is my world, my everything. I can't even begin to imagine my life without him. A broken shattered mess. That is what I was when I first met him and that is what I will be if I lose him now, maybe worse._

_"Nothing" I shake my head. I will not lose everything; disappoint everyone in a moment of doubt. I thought I can take the risk of everything crumpling under my feet but I can't. I love this man and I will marry him. Soon, every little doubt I have will fade away and last night will be wiped of my memory forever. __He__ will be wiped of my memory forever. I ignore the tightening in my chest. It won't last. "Everything is fine" I plant a fake smile on my face and hope for the life of me that it will be the last one I will ever have to fake._

Man, was I wrong! A car horn alarms me that the light is already green and I am still not moving. I shake my head to chase the memory of that fateful night away as I get my car back on the road.

I am back to my company faster than I want. Grey Publish House. I was simple editor when I met my husband a year ago. My biggest dream was to publish my own book, to write my own story. Now I am the owner of the biggest publishing house in the city and I haven't published anything of my own. If I told someone that I haven't reached my dreams, they would laugh at me, call my ungrateful, greedy woman. But the truth is, the only stories I publish are written for me. My stories are written for me. I dismiss the thought of that sentence being true in so many levels.

"Oh. My. God. Elena, where the hell have you been?" Caroline's familiar squeak is the first thing I am greeted with once I entre my office. I know the storm is coming so I will just _bend. _You can not by any means face a Forbes storm, either you bend or you break. And now I am really not in the mood to test my luck on that theory.

"I needed to be somewhere calm" I answer without meeting her eyes or stopping my tracks, hoping to avoid a Spinach investigation.

"And why didn't you answer or return any of my calls?" I can picture her with her hands on her hips without even looking up at her. i only look up when I am settled behind my desk.

"Like I said I needed calm" I answer beginning a game of stare I learned from my dear husband. It doesn't seem to work with my oldest friend, thou. Should have known it won't but it was worth a try. She just shakes her head at me, her perfectly curled blonde masterpieces flying around her face.

"Don't give me that shit, Elena. I was worried sick about you" the concern oozing from her voice softens my attitude immediately. I love her, I love that she is worried about me. But sometimes she can be a bit of a control freak and I already have one that I share my bed with. I don't need or want another 'caretaker'. What I need is a friend. Caroline sometimes bypasses that fact. I can't blame her. I haven't been that much of a friend lately.

"I am sorry, Caroline. I really am. But you know I haven't been feeling well lately and everything is just so stressful. I needed to get away for a moment. I need _you_ to understand that" I will her to see my point. She sighs softly and takes a seat across of me.

"I understand" I breathe a sigh of relief. "I just don't want you to want to get away. I want you to come to me, Elena. I am your friend and even since you get married I am more your PA than your friend"

"Care, No. Fuck" Oh god, I feel terrible! When I asked Caroline to help me run this company, I never intended to treat her as my PA. we have been 'Besties' since freshmen year in Columbia and I want to keep it that way! She is my best friend, my maid of honor, my rock. I don't think I can bear to lose her…or Bonnie. What the hell am I doing?

_You really fucked up, Missy._

I know. Now, let me fix it.

I run my hand through my hair. As soon as I close my eyes, I see him. Blue eyes, full of understanding, concern and longing. The version that is supposed to disturb me is actually the only thing keeping me sane right now. I didn't know how much I needed him until I was there in his arms. I wanted to hid, to disappear into him. I wanted the time to stop, the moment to freeze.

_But we don't always get what we want, do we?_

Yeah, tell me about it.

I open my eyes to chase his image away and I see Caroline examining me closely. Oh, shit! What did she see now?

"Elena, what is wrong?" Fuck, Fuck, fuckity of fuckites.

"I am fine. Did you have lunch?" please drop it, Care.

"I did" she rolls her eyes at me knowing what I am trying to do. I guess she figures she can't get something out of me anyway. Walah, look who is getting smarter?! "It was your lose anyway. I wanted to tell you about Jesse" she changes the subject for me and I almost thank her! hmmm, Jesse, the bronze hottie we met in the last 'Grey' event.

"What about him?" I jump to the new subject with a new founded enthusiasm.

"No way, young lady. You missed your chance when you disappeared on me" I give her my best puppy dog face and I know she is itching to tell me anyway. It will only take…one…two…three…four…"Okay. I forgive you" and she breaks into a fit of giggles

See, told ya!

"He called?" I wonder letting a grin of my own out.

"He did" she squeaks. "Crap" she curses under her breath and snaps her mouth shut suddenly. "We have tons of work to do and lunch time is over!" she announces in her crisis voice. "I was gonna tell you at lunch. Now we will have to wait until we are finished" she adds in her 'Professional Caroline' tone. Yes, Ma'am. Damn it, sometimes it feels like it is me who is working for her!

I do as I am told and dig into work. To say that I enjoy editing will be an understatement! I love books. Imagine getting paid for reading awesome books! And the perks of being the head of the company, I don't read but the very chosen ones. Those young writers are freaking talented. And beside the boring headboard meetings, I feel like I couldn't be paid to do this. I get lost in the haze of work as usual and time flow by.

"I am preparing a surprise birthday party for Bonnie" Caroline announces after she is done gossiping about her coming soon date with Mr. Hotness. "Next Tuesday"

"Really? That is great. Hold on…I am sure Bonnie's birthday is on Thursday" I frown and start looking through my calendar.

"It is. But if I do the party on Thursday, how is that a surprise?" Caroline states like it is the most obvious thing in the world.

"Yeah. Sure" I couldn't help the grin on my face as I shake my head on my crazy friend.

"You will be there. You and 'Mr. Grey' "she used her fingers to quoting the last word and I roll my eyes at her.

"I will tell him. But _you know_ he doesn't do well with crowds"

"And _you_ know that I am not buying this bullshit! He is like a Hollywood stare in charity and red carpet event but he feel intimidated by a little birthday crowd? Come on!"

"You don't get, Care. In those events, he is the CEO. He can be that person just fine. In total control. But in the friendly little events, he is _just _Christian. No power there. He gets a little lost" I say trying to explain my husband's lack of social skills.

"We all can get a little lost in crowds. Your husband just likes to walk into the room and be the one who intimidate people. Not the other way around"

Honestly, sometimes I think that he avoids dealing with people who don't get paid by him! People he doesn't hold their lives in his hands, he has no power over them. Also sometimes I wonder if that is one of the reasons he was so desperate to marry me. I can be his girlfriend, I can tell him 'I am yours', I can move in with him, but he still feels like he can lose me any moment. Marriage helped him feel more content but I think he still has this nagging thought that he doesn't own me completely.

_Well, considering your blue eyed little secret, does he?_

"What are you implying, Caroline?" Shit, I can gossip with Care for hours, but once we start talking about Christian it doesn't take me more than few minutes to feel drained.

"That maybe he doesn't really want to try?" she said slowly and carefully and I glare at her. She sighs "look, you want facts?! I will give you facts. What have you ever done since you married this man beside being Mrs. Grey and working your ass off trying to run this Grey publish house? What have you done for you? When was the last time you did something with your friends?" I don't want to listen and I don't want to let those thoughts into my brain.

"No, you look at me, Caroline! Two months ago I was a simple initiator, now I am a married woman who runs a big ass company! I am trying, okay? Give me a fucking break!"

"You are asking _me_ to give you a break?" she rouses from her chair violently. "You are the one who isn't giving herself a break! Look at you, how many years have you aged since your par…." Her hand flies to cover her mouth as she snaps it shut.

"Since my parents died. You mean since my parents died" my tone is cold but I can feel the tears burning behind my eyes.

_Don't cry! Don't fucking cry!_

"Elena, I didn't mean…I am so so sorry" her voice is trembling and it looks like she is the one who is going to cry now. Fuck, don't. Please don't or I will join you.

"It is okay, Caroline" I give her a reassuring smile trying to control my voice.

"You know I am only worried about you, right?" she takes my hand and gives her a gentle squeak.

"I know" I nod and swallow pushing back the tears.

I arrive home late due to my little debate with Caroline, but Christian is still at work. I am usually home at 5:00 and he is never home before 9:00. I am not complaining, thou. Lately, I have been needing more time to myself. Spending time with Christian could be…draining.

I tell Mrs. Jones that I will take a nap while we will wait for Christian for dinner and head to the bedroom straight. I am showered and in my pajamas in 30 minutes and I find myself lying in my bed, eyes wide open staring at the ceiling.

I am afraid that if I close my eyes I will see him, Not that he hasn't been in my mind all day.

_Try two fucking months!_

All my life I had been a good girl. Yes, I have had my share of mistakes. But I never hurt anyone, I never cheated, I never hated on anyone. Until that night. I can blame it all I want on alcohol or stress or anything else but deep down I know. I know it was me, my decision. And what is worse it that I can find it in my heart to regret it. if anything, I am kinda of _proud _of it! it was a moment of freedom. Recklessness? Yes, but also sweet sweet freedom. It was like for the first time in my whole life, I am the one making the decision with no influence, no consideration for the following consequences. I was a mistress of my own destiny and I fucking loved it!

_Well, you kinda of erased it all with this little thing called 'not calling the wedding off'!_

It doesn't matter now. What matters is that I can't let this go on. I will meet him tomorrow and I will tell him the truth. I will tell him that what we did was a mistake. A decision built on a moment of doubt and confusion. I will tell him that we will not be seeing each other anymore. Then everything will be fine and things will go back to normal.

Then why do I feel this tightness in my chest every time I call it a mistake?

Why every time I think about not seeing him again, I feel a hole inside me?

Why every time I close my eyes, I see ocean blue ones staring at me?

And why is his name nagging the back of my head even since I heard it, my tongue aching to say it and ears desperate to hear it?

"Damon" is a light whisper in my lips before I am pulled into restless sleep, fearing, yet wishing that my dream will be haunted with the same blue eyes.

**No Damon today! You know why? Because I can't!**

**Don't worry. He will be back in next chapter. I miss him already **

**Again, sorry for being late. And BIG FAT thanks for the lovely review 3 you guys warm my heart! Hugs and kisses!**

**Question: Would you like the next DEX to be in DPOV or EPOV? I will tell you something, Damon is itching to talk about Elena's tits if you will guys let him he will goooo oraaah! **

**See ya soon, folks ;) **


	6. Chapter 6: Late!

Chapter 6: Late!

**EPOV:**

I shouldn't have come. But here I am, 15 minutes earlier than the time we agreed to meet at. How pathetic is that! I settle at the floor in _that _room and just watch the tiny birds rooming the sky. I close my eyes and try to clear my mind for a minute, Shut all the sounds in my head down. The only sound I hear is the sound of water running smoothly, the birds repeating their favorite song over and over again. Peace, I am trying to find peace but it hovers just at the horizontal of my big world. The closer I get the farer it seems. Always there but always out of reach, mysterious and unrecognizable yet so captivatingly familiar.

My phone interrupts my trying-to-be peaceful thought, singling an incoming text. It is Christian.

**Free lunch time today. Pick you up in 20 mins****

I roll my eyes. Typical Christian. There is no question mark in his texts. Christian Grey doesn't ask for permission, he orders, he commands. Few months ago, I used to find that awesome and all kind of hot. To be in that kind of control all the time, to be the master of your own destiny. I used to envy him and long for him to teach me how to be like that. Now I can't help but feel like I just turned into one of the things under his control, Another employee to command, another aspect of his organized life to dominate.

_Now where did those thoughts come from? _

***Sorry, already out for lunch.** **R****ain check?* **

I drop the phone back in my pocket and my hand finds my ring inside. I know for a fact, that Christian will loss his mind if he knows that I take it off any time I can. It started in our honeymoon, when I forgot it at the bathroom. It didn't take him more than a few minutes to notice its absence. He had that look in his eyes, I often find it hot but sometimes it get kinda of frightening. I am trying not to put so much thought into it. And honestly, I have no right to be surprised. I knew from the very beginning how possessive my husband is. And that was exactly what I needed when I met. His overprotective nature fed my need to be protected, my need for safety. I still need him, his love, his protection, his safety. I don't think I will ever stop needing him.

I tell myself that he needs me so much but the truth is, I need him just as much as he does me. when Damon told me that I shouldn't do anything for anyone I was only trying to convince him _and maybe myself_ that Christian's need for me is the reason why I can't let him go but I know that wasn't the truth.

I stare at my ring for a moment. If that was the truth, this ring is supposed to feel like a security lifeline, why does it feel like a cage? Better yet, a _safe._

_A secure safe for precious properties_.

How are you gonna tell him?

Hmmm, I don't know. Just flush my ring right at his face, maybe…yeah, that will go just fine.

I curl my fingers around the ring and clench my fist so hard that it digs into my skin. I bit my lip and shake my head. No, I will never gather courage enough to tell him.

What am I doing here?

**DPOV:**

I am out of the operating room like a wizard breaking out of Azkaban, pretty ready to burn the place down to ashes.

. .

"Salvatore" the voice I hear is the last voice I want to hear right now. I try not to clench my jaw harder or I might lose some teeth.

"Bing" I say tightly. I am sure my tone is anything but friendly and I don't really give a fuck right now. It is not my fault that he has such a stupid name, thou. I top it by hitting his shoulder with mine as I pass him and almost knocking him at his ass. Immature much?

Who gives a fuck?

He must have regained his balance fast because a few steps, and he is in my face again.

"You saved a life today, Kid" he says with what should look like a proud smile. "You did well"

"Fuck off, Bing" I snap because dammit, is he for real?

"You know some people will be honored to have the opportunity to safe lives" he sighs like he is taking to person with a brain damage who can't understand him.

"You know what? I don't have time for this" I walk past him again and try not to glance up at the clock. I know I am already late. I am fucking late.

"What is wrong with you, Kid?" he calls from behind me and somewhere in my brain decided it will be a good idea to tell him 'what is wrong'.

"No, what is wrong with _you? _I told you I can't do it. I told you to ask Meredith to take my place but you throw my words in the can trash and you put me into a hard place forcing me to operate when I told you I have an important appointment" I realize I am yelling, In a hospital. My anger at him mixed with my fear of never seeing her again clouds my brain. It is a miracle I managed to do it right in the operation room and not kill the poor guy.

"Well, I am sorry that I consider people's life or death a little more important than a date" his sarcastic tone is doing nothing to calm my rage.

"It is not just about a_ date_" _isn't it?_ "It is about respect. It is about you being a dick." Well, that is not so professional. Screw professional, I am in a rage now. "You could have signed Meredith for this and that guy would have lived just alright but no you had to be such a controlling ass."

Suddenly my head is clear, suddenly I am calm. I know where to hit. "You know maybe Donna, your wife, was right. Maybe you have some control issues. Seriously all she wanted was to be on top once or twice but you just always go for good ol' missionary. Well, let me tell you something, _Kid" _I stress the word he likes to call me by and he is only six years my senior for god's sake! His face is almost red now. His nostrils are flying. "You are missing out." I say the words slowly letting them take their time and waiting for the revelation to put signs on his anger face. Here it is. "Because the view from below is just…wow" I let my eyes roll back for measure effect and with a smirk on my face I leave a stunned Bing behind.

Mind you, I will never ever sleep with a married woman. I hate cheating more than I hate cancer. Donna was in my bed right after she got her divorce papers. I only slept with her when I was sure she left him.

But he doesn't have to know that, does he?

I am not a good person, I know that. But I have my rules that I set by myself. And I am certainly not a pushover, I don't let people like _Bing _walk all over me and just stand by. I will never be this person.

I must have broken all the traffic rules and laws in my way to the house. Maybe I will catch her. Maybe it is not too late. If I go and she is not there, there is almost no chance for me to see her _ever_ again. I got lucky once but this shit never happens twice specially withsomeone like me.

Suddenly and strangely, the idea of never seeing her again presses my foot harder on the accelerator. My hands grasp the wheel tighter.

_Ryan Fucking Bing. _

_Please, be there, Elena._

**EPOV:**

He is late.

It is twenty-two minutes after the time we agreed on and he is still not here.

And I still have no idea how to tell him that I am married, that we can never see each other again.

_Not even as friends?_

Who are you kidding now?

I should have never come. I should have stayed away. Cut all the ties. Coming here to meet him will only make it harder and more complicated.

_Maybe you just wanted to see him? One more time?_

The thought gives me the power to rouse from the floor determined to leave that place and all the confusion it causes me. _And the new path it lays upon me._

A weak sound stops me in my tracks and I turn around to find the source.

Sparrow!

But he doesn't look good. His black eyes are puffy and swollen, his tiny nose is red and his little nostrils are wide, his mouth his open and his breathes are shallow and it looks like he is trying hard to take the next breathe.

He looks sick.

"Oh, Sparrow" I knee beside him and try to check his body for more clues but I don't know much about dogs. My mom never let me have one and Bonnie is allergic. Can someone be allergic to dogs?

I settle for pulling him into a hug and decide to take him to the hospital.

_But he is not yours, is he? _

Kinda.

A small smirk curves my lips as I remember Damon's response when I asked him about Sparrow. Just as his voice starts to echo in my mind, I hear it call my name. _Elena. _I sigh. It sounds so soft coming out of his delicious mouth.

"Elena" I hear it. More forcibly this time and I realize that it is not the sound in my head anymore. I turn around with Sparrow clinched to my chest and me looking like the kid caught with her hands in the cookies jar.

"Hey" the word is a breathless whisper out of his lips. His chest is heaving and he looks like he has been running. And boy, he looks good. Black boots and dark jeans all the same but today his shirt is dark blue and it is bringing out the gorgeous color of his oceans blues.

Oh, my! I need help….okay. That is gonna be a little harder than I thought.

_A little?_

"Hey" I can literally my resistance slipping away from my traitorous body. He steps closer to me, slowly and deliberately, never losing eye contact. _Strong, strong Elena. _He is finally a foot away from me. A devil smirk makes its away to his eatable lips obviously feeling smug by my speechlessness. Oh, the game would have been so much easier if he didn't already know his effect on me. His gaze finally drops to the dog in my arms and his smirk falls, replaced with a frown.

"What is wrong with him?" he wonders, not accusingly, extending his arms singling me to hand him Sparrow. Our skin brushes few times in the process of handling him the dog. My god, it is only a few moment in his presence and my body is aching for his touch!

"I..I don't know. He was like this when I found him" I try not to stumble. He is ignoring me and examining Sparrow with a concerned frown between his eyebrows. "Is he gonna be okay?" I question feeling truly worried for a dog I barely know.

"He will be fine" he gives me a reassuring smile. "It is…." He must have said a disease name but I am bathing in my relief so I don't hear it. It sound a little complicated for someone who knows little about animals like myself. "He gets it every spring. It is just a little earlier this year. He just needs to take his medication, stay warmand in few days he will be good as new"

"Good" a smile spreads on my face and I nod at him like the idiot that I am. "So, you are taking him home?"

"Yes, so I can look after him till he gets better" he nods at me too and then he is back staring at his dog. He is running his fingers through his fur and looking a little deep in thoughts for a second. "I am sorry I am late" his voice is so small and low that it is almost not audible. So different from the confident almost professional tone he was talking by moments ago. He is still not meeting my eyes.

"It is alright. I needed some time alone anyway. I needed to think. We need to talk" I searching for words inside my head, wrong words, right words. He finally looks up at me.

"Oh" is the only thing that leaves his mouth and he seems to be arguing me to go on. His confusion is obvious on his normally impressive face and now I am nervous. Another weak whine from Sparrow cut the silence and catches our attention. He struggles into Damon's chest and I try not to envy him for his place.

"Fine, buddy. I am taking you home now" he gives me one more searching glance before he turns on his heels and starts to walk away. What the hell? Is he leaving me here after I told him we have to talk? Before I come up with a list of assumptions he turns back and looks at me over his shoulder. "You coming or what?" his question is so causal as if we are best friends who hang out together every day.

"Hm…yeah" he throws me another panties-dropping-smart-ass smirk before walking toward the exit of the house with me behind him.

"That is your car?" I wonder as I stare dumbfound at the shiny blue Camero.

"Nope, I stole it" I raise my eyebrows at him so he rolls his eyes lightly and goes to open the door for me like a gentleman. "Impressed?" his voice is deep and smooth and dripping with sex and should be illegal. I try to control my breath and wonder how many panties this cool car got him into!

"Not really" Liar, Lair. "Just not what I expected" I answer before I climb into the car and he waits a second with a tilted head before he closes the door behind me and hops into his seat. Once he gets in he just stares straight with a blank expression on his face for a few seconds that I am about to ask just before he turns his face to me slowly with a mocking sick grin that is so well done that if I should be scared now.

"Finally get you into the car, princess" he says in a fake deep dramatic tone then eyes me up and done. I am little dumbfound but it takes him two seconds to break and he can't keep his straight face anymore as he breaks into uncontrolled laughter that almost rocks the car.

"You asshole" I punch his arm over and over again but he doesn't seem to feel it at all. "I hate you so much. You are mean"

"Oh, don't pout" he makes a mocking but adorable pouty face. Suddenly I have a need to bite this pouty lip! "You should have seen your face. It was totally worth it" he is grinning like the cat at Alas in wonder land.

"Seriously how old are you?"I cross my arms over my chest and try to frown.

"Twenty eight" he says causally as he starts the engine and the sweet car purrs. I wasn't expecting an actual answer so I am a little taken back.

"Man, you are old!" he chuckles at me. "I mean you are old for being…you know…"

"No, I don't"

"You, I guess" he glances at me not understanding my meaning, honestly I don't think I even do understand it! "I mean you act like you are so young, carefree, Without a care in the world. I guess deep down I thought of you as a younger person" he certainly looks late twenties but what I don't tell him is that he is five years my senior and he acts like he is younger than me!

"You think you had me all figured out, don't you?" he murmurs under his breath but he doesn't gives me time to react. "The age is never a teller. Some people grow old fast and some still know how to be young and relive in what it means to be alive"

"You mean that it depends on what you witness. That what you experience may make you grow older" I let my body sinks down into the leather chair knowing exactly why I feel ninety years old sometimes.

"No, not really" my head snaps at his direction but he is concentrating on the road. "It is mostly your choice. We all experience some shit along the way because let's face it; Life isn't a walk in the park. But you can either choose to let the past hold you back and turn you into someone else or you can choose to conquer it and win. I absolutely hate it when people blame anything but themselves for their own missteps"

He continues to drive normally and doesn't even glance at my face as if he didn't just say a speech that could change life! I let the words roll around into my brain for the rest of the ride and wonder how much I have blamed on something happened more than a year ago.

**DPOV:**

"So, you said that we needed to talk" I trying to sound causal but I am nervous as fuck! Did she meet someone else? Does she not want me as I want her? I just put Sparrow into a fluffy sweet sleep and left him snoring lightly. I told her to make herself home while I took care of Sparrow and she seems to have taken that seriously as she is looking through my mail when I am back to the sitting room. If it was any other girl I will be very mad at her as hell for invading my personal space. But surprisingly all I can think about now is how cute she is with this little 'I am focused' frown on her face. Besides this weird joint in my chest at the thought of she being curious about me…oh, I don't like that…not one bit.

My voice must have startled her because she did a little jump into her place. I can't help the chuckle that escapes my mouth as she bends down to pick up the mail she dropped in her little jump. I drop on my knees to help her and she is trying really hard to cover her blushing face with her hair. I resist the urge to chuckle again.

"Someone was snooping" I tease with a little smirk. If I am not gonna laugh at least I get to tease, anything to make this lovely blush rises.

"I…I am sorry I didn't mean to snoop" she struggles to stop blushing but it isn't working so well. We are up and she handles me her pile of mail.

"Of course you didn't. You were just checking if there were any of those for you. Oh, look. All mine" my teasing grin does nothing to lighten the glare she is giving me at the moment. "I am kidding, okay?" I roll my eyes on her but she just glares more. My, I love it when she gets feisty! "you could just ask me, anything you want to know, right?" my tone is more serious now.

"Right" she swallows hard and nods but she is not meeting my eyes. "Uh...How is Sparrow?" changing the subject already, huh? Oh dear Elena, you are gonna be so much fun to unravel.

"Good. Sleeping soundly. Want some lunch? I am sure that is your lunch time and I make really good cheese burger" That earns me a giggle even though it is has a nervous touch.

"Sure, why not?"

**Sorry for the delay. And sorry for the short chapter too ****. I just wasn't feeling well those last couple of weeks but I forced myself to publish so you won't think I have gone away. Nope, still here!**

**Thanks so much for the lovely review. The flattering ones warms my heart but the judgy ones excites me :D it makes me feel like you are giving some thought to this story and not just reading like "oh, look! Another crappy fanfic but I will still read for the smut" _supposing that I write a readable smut_**

**I'd like to know what you think, in details. And I am more than open for suggestions, requests or even judging review. I want it all!**

**Next chapter will have DEX in it, pinky swear? Just wait for me I am trying to make a plot and characters here. BTW, who would you like me to let into this story? I already have some in mind of course but I want to know what you like.**

**It seems that you all agree on a flashback Chris/Elena sex and although I had an intention of an NOT SO flashback one, I am a bendy flexible writer with weak weak will power and you will have what you wish soon :D maybe their first night?**

**Soooo, do you think Elena will tell him? Do you want her to?**


	7. Chapter 7: Fire Breather

**Ready or not here I come! Hello! I am back on track and wrote a chapter that would make my mom very very embarrassed with me! is there any Egyptians in here? Please, don't tell my mom!**

**Sooo we have reached 49 reviews and over 3100 view (Happy dance) I am thrilled, girls. You rock! Also the last chapter got just six review, was it bad?**

**Ps. The French fan, thank you! thank you for making me retest my French ;) also Google translation helped a little! **

**Chapter 7: Fire breather**

**EBOV:**

"So, _Doctor _Damon Salvatore, huh?" I say playfully mentioning the mail and sit at the breakfast bar. The name seems a little familiar to me but I am not sure how. However, talking to Damon has always been easy and time-consuming. It is easy to forget everything and dive into the banter. It is kinda of comforting actually.

"Still not impressed?" he smirks and starts pulling things out of the fridge.

"Depends. What kind of doctor are you?"

"Wanna guess?" he wiggles his eyebrows teasingly at me.

"Hmmm" I frown and tap my index at my chin as if I am deep in thoughts. "Veterinarian?" I pop out and he chuckles as he flips the burger.

"You mean because of Sparrow? No, that is called practice makes perfect. When you have had a pet for a long time you tend to get familiar with his health habits"

"I wouldn't know that. I have never had a pet" I confess.

"Never?" his head snaps at my direction and his eyes widen like it is the most unbelievable thing he has ever heard.

"Nope. My mom never let me have one" I shrug simply.

"But you are not living with your parents anymore" he narrows his eyes playfully at me. "Are you?"

"No" I shake my head and let it drop down."Even if I wanted to, I couldn't. they are dead" the words escape my mouth before I even try to stop them which tends to happens a lot around Damon. Normally I avoid telling people that, simply because of the followed 'oh, I am so sorry' and 'dear, what happened?' or even the worst 'I know exactly what you are going through'.

Did you lose both your parents in one night?

Do you still feel that every breath you take isn't yours, that it is stolen from the ones you love the most?

_Then, NO. You have absolutely no fucking idea what I am going through!_

And don't ask me what is the proper answer for 'My parents are dead' because I have no clue. And I try really hard to stop blaming people for their textbook answers but I fail so I eventually decided to avoid the subject at all costs. _Then what the fuck have you just done?_

"That sucks. My mom is dead too" he says simply as he places a plate containing a mouth-watering sandwich.

Someone gives this guy a medal!

I am so shocked by his words that I am staring with my jaw hanged open for a moment before I find my words. But what do I say? I want to know what happened to his mother but I can't help but give him the same the mercy he graced me with. I am not gonna ask.

I am gonna eat my sandwich.

I pick it up, take a mouthful bite and I have to stop myself from moaning out loud. That is so fucking good!

"Oh my god, Damon. This is delicious!" I say through the food in my mouth so my voice is muffed. He laughs at me. I forgot how much I love this laugh. It is beautiful and infectious. It is the kind of laugh that makes you stare like an idiot with a stupid grin on your face. _It is the kind of laugh that makes people fall in love_. Damon Salvatore is heartbreaker.

Suddenly he is reaching with his hand to wipe the sauce at corner of my mouth by his thumb then he brings it to his mouth and suck on it. His eyes are holding mine and I try to swallow the pile of food and the pool of desire building in my belly. It only takes him one simple act, one simple look to turn the air around from light and playful to thick sexual tension that could be cut with a knife.

"I am a surgeon" He pops his thumb out of his mouth and throw me a smirk before walking around the bar to sit beside me.

"What?" I ask because I am not sure I heard that properly. I am also not sure what we were talking about before he turns me the fuck on by a fucking thumb! No pen intended.

"I am a heart surgeon" he exclaims and rests his head in the palm of his hand. His elbow is on the bar and he is looking up at me adorably. 

"Oh" I shake my head searching for words so I won't sound like a complete idiot. "Again, not what I expected"

"You seem to have lots of expectations for me" he observes with a frown and turn to attack his own sandwich.

"Does that bother you?" I see a pickle peaking out of my bitten sandwich and wonder how I haven't felt it earlier. I open it and start picking the pickles inside like I always do.

"No, but that does" he slaps my hand lightly and I glare up at him. "You don't like pickles?" I shake my head no "What is wrong with you?" he scowls at me, picks the pickles of my plate and pops it into his mouth.

The best combination of sexy and adorable, Damon Salvatore.

"So. What do you do?" he asks and digs back into his sandwich like it is the last meal available on earth.

"Wanna guess?" I throw his own words back at him and take another bite of my sandwich.

"A producer" he says immediately with so much confidence that I almost doubt myself!

"No" I shout but I am grinning like a fool. "Why would you think that?"

"I don't know" he shrugs "I can totally picture you in jeans and a cap ordering people around and making them your bitches with those compelling doe eyes of yours"

"Me? my eyes?" I crack up at this so hard that I feel tears at the corner of my eyes. "You think my eyes are compelling, Mr. Ocean Blues?"

"It is not about the color, babe" he shrugs causally but I swear to god I can see a little blush on his face.

Well, it is official. A blushing Damon is one of my favorite Damons.

"Okay, not a producer then" he sighs as he finishes his sandwich and narrows his eyes thoughtfully. "I have no clues or hints here but I am pretty sure you are not a person who works behind a desk"

"Wrong" I giggle feeling smug. "Actually I am a head editor so technically working behind a desk is my life" I say mockingly as I clean my plate. That was one delicious sandwich!

"Do you like it?" his soft voice comes and his words startle me that my head snaps at his direction but he is already up picking the empty plates.

"No..No. let me do that" I take the dishes from his hands making an effort of not touching his skin. "You cooked, I will clean right?" I flesh him an easy smile and he stares at me for a moment, an unnamed emotion clear in his blues before he nods and drops his gaze. I walk over to the sink trying to let the domestic act calm my trembling hands.

"You didn't answer my question" he says quietly with my back turned at him.

"What question?" i don't know what possessed me to play dumb but maybe I want to hear him ask that question again. No one ever asked me if I liked my job! Whenever I say I am an editor, normal people are like 'cool, where do you work?' or 'What is your degree?' or they start talking about 'their' jobs in return. At this point I am fairly certain Damon Salvatore is no 'normal people'.

"Do you like it, your job?" his voice is closer now. His tone is different. It is _the _tone! The tone he uses when he thinks he already knows the answer. I can actually picture him tilting his head at me.

"It is a good job. Any sane person with my degree will be more than thrilled to have it" I am bluffing and I know it. _He _knows it. "So yes. I guess i like it" I finally answer as I place the dishes on the dishwasher and as I bend to close the door, a warm big hand closes over mine and helps me push the door shut. I stand up slowly and I feel him right behind me. the heat radiating from his body doing things to my insides. I am afraid to turn around, afraid to look at him, afraid to see my true self in his mirroring eyes. Wanton and selfish, a crowd, a terrible terrible person for letting herself feel that way toward a man that isn't her husband.

But most of all I am afraid he will see her too. I am terrified!

_He sees you. He sees things even you can't see in yourself. Aren't you a little curious about how he sees you?_

And just because I am. And because I don't wanna be afraid any more, I turn around and let my eyes meet his gaze. He pins me down with his eyes like he always does, again striping me bare, reaching layers I don't know exist in me.

"You guess?" he frowns obviously confused. "Do you _enjoy _your job or not, Elena?" his tone demanding, my name rolls of his tongue in the most sinful way and I try not to shiver.

"No one _enjoys _jobs, Damon " I cross my arms over my chest and regret the move immediately as it causes my forearms to touch his abdominal making me realize how close we stand. Although I take some satisfaction in the way his eyes fly to my breasts. "Do you enjoy your job?" he seems taken back a little and then lost in thought for a minute. A little smirk tugs the corner of my mouth.

"We are not talking about me. We are talking about you now" he deadpans finally and I resist the urge to roll my eyes.

"Jobs are tough. Sometimes it is smooth and sometimes you get some bumps in the road, sometimes you do things you don't like but all you can do is suck it up. That is the mature thing to do for your career" I realize I am lecturing a man five years my senior about 'being mature' but I shake it off.

"So that is your theory" his tone is not questioning. He narrows his eyes at me. "You just stay in a job that makes you miserable for your so called 'Career'. That career which is supposed to be the field where you feel like you fit in. well let me rephrase my question. Do you fit in there?" I am the one who is a little taken back by how much he can see through my bullshit. Mostly I am a tough arguer. I make sense from the nonsense. That is like my thing. So far no one was ever able to keep up with me in this field so it is only natural that I am a little impressed by this witty bastard.

"You think you know me so much?" I scowl at him and affectively avoiding his question.

"I just think this isn't your place" he shrugs off simply.

"Oh, please do tell. Where is my place?" I am turning on the sass now. a defense mechanism that I haven't used in years. Till now.

"Hmmm" he stars at me for a minute. "Somewhere calm, open, lots of space that you can see the line separating the sky from the green land. All you can hear there is the sound of little birds and water running wildly down the waterfalls. All you can feel is the cool grass against you very naked body. The sunlight is the only thing covering your skin. Your hair is spread around your head making you shine more than the sun" a shiver runs through my spine when I feel his fingertips glazing my hair. I realize that my eyes have closed involuntary and I am imagining myself in that place, instead of just laying on the grass, I am running up a hill. The air whipping my skin and my hair flying around me, and I am going up and up. "Peace" the last word escapes his mouth as a whisper making my eyes fly open and catch his.

I am totally shocked and fascinated by the way he sees me. Also I can't help the part of me that longs to know what I will be if I let myself go for just a moment. If I step out of the line I haven't stepped off for years. Do I have it in me? to be this girl again? To rediscover the old Elena? The one who knew no guilt, no regret, the one with so little inhibitions. but most of all, the one who never ever hesitated to go after what she wanted.

_Tell him. Tell him you are married._

My mouth refuses to open and my fear makes my throat close up. I could tell him that now. I could walk away from this Elena and embrace the Elena I have lately become. The one who is married to the rich businessman, makes love to him every night, takes orders from him, runs a company at the age of twenty-three, rarely goes out with her old best friends, never misses a boring as hell gale, wears knee length pencil skirt to work, drinks coffee every morning.

I hate morning coffee.

I never told my husband that when he asked his housekeeper to make us two every morning.

Sorry, boring-older-than-her-true-age-routine-junkie Elena. Old Elena wins.

I am gonna kiss my dark stranger.

**DPOV:**

She is looking up at me with those wide doe eyes looking like she was lost and finally get home and I am wondering why I can't manage to move a muscle or even inhale a breath.

A man like me should be running for the hills form this look. But it wasn't needy to me. it was alluring, compelling and most of all challenging. And Damon Salvatore never backs off from a challenge, Besides this burning need to unravel her, to take down her walls. To watch her as she comes undone before me.

To watch her come. I ache to watch her come.

I have never craved watching a woman in chaos of pleasure as I craved to see this woman fall apart. I am standing there like an idiot wondering if she will let me and I watch as some battle plays behind her beautiful eyes. Suddenly I see something snaps and I have only two seconds to prepare before her lips are on mine.

Sweet mother of all that is holy!

I kiss her back with equal fever and she is nothing like before. There is no hesitation or shyness and this time I know it is not the alcohol in her system. This time she is so greedy. She is kissing me with urgency, tugging at my hair like she has to and I am trying not to moan. This kiss is different, it is not sweet or sensual or desperate. It is pure raw need and desire. It is excitement, danger, and adventure all wrapped up in one kiss so intoxicating. It is the kind of kiss that threatens to consume you as you welcome oblivion. I let my hands drop of her waist and run along the gentle curve of her ass to her thighs.

"Wrap your legs around me" I whisper against her lips as we part for much needed air and she obeys. I lift her up and place her on the breakfast bar without breaking the kiss. She digs her heels into my ass pulling me closer and she gasps as her heat makes contact with my fully hardened member. I tingle my hand in her hair when we break apart for air but my lips doesn't leave her skin as I begin kissing and licking a trail from the back of her ear to the base of her neck where I can feel her quickening pulse under my tongue.

"Fuck, you smell amazing" I murmur against the shell of her ear and then bite the lobe gentle smoothing the bite with my tongue. "I have missed that" I remember her smell. Damn it, how can I forget it! It is the perfect combination of orchids and lemons and something else I can never name, something that is just Elena. I push her jacket over her shoulders letting it fall. She starts opening the buttons of my shirt and I can see that she is getting irritated and wants to rib it open like last time but she is still battling with them. When she does the third button, the shirt is halfway open and I am the one who is getting impatient now so I reach behind me and snitch the shirt over my head probably breaking a button or two.

I don't give a shit about that, thou.

She is looking at me with such hunger, her pupils dilated, her lips swollen from _my _kisses, her hair is wild and messy from _my _fingers.

"I want you naked. Now" I order with urgency I have never felt before. I think it is safe to say I have never craved a woman like I crave Elena, not even Katherine. Not having the patience for buttons, I rib her shirt open. The sound of the buttons flying around my kitchen and landing everywhere is so fucking satisfying but not as much as the sight before me, Elena's prefect boobs in a black lace bra. Unable to maintain my desire I duck my head and stuck my tongue into the happy valley of her cleavage running up to her chin.

"Ah, Damon" she moans my name softly and it is freaking music to my ears. I take her lower lip between my teeth and give it a bite.

"You still wear those" I whisper against her lips palming her breasts and fingering the front clasp of her bra.

"Oh, you love them" she chuckles causing her chest to vibrate under my hand. I graze her harden nipples with my thumbs and she arches her back pressing them into my greedy hands. I pinch each nibble through the thin material making her cry out. Oh, how I love those little sexy sounds of hers.

"True" I admit unclasping her bra and exposing her pink peaks to the cold air. I pull away to enjoy the view. Her hand are on the bar behind her supporting her weight, her shirt is ripped open and her bra is hanging on each side of her rounded tits. Almost involuntary, I take one of her nipples into my mouth sucking on it hard, running the tip of my tongue over the hard pearl. She buries her hand into my hair pressing me harder, urging me closer. I love how wild and free she gets when she is lost in ecstasy. I continue to play with her boobs enjoying the sounds she makes, the way she tugs on my hair every time it gets too much.

"Damon, please…" she moans.

"Please what?" I ask before circling her right nipple with light kisses.

"You jerk" she groans in frustration making me chuckle against her skin. Before I know it, her little hand reaches down and cups me through my pants.

"Shit" I curse suddenly realizing how painfully hard I am. I can't believe I forget about my buddy down there.

Sorry, pal. If you see the girls I am buried in up here, you will excuse me.

No fair! bros before hoes, asshole.

She is not a hoe!

Yes, I am having an imaginary conversation with my dick! It is the only thing distracting me from the warm hand torturing my cock! Shit, shit, shit, no way I am not gonna come in my pants from a hand job like a fucking teenager.

I grape her wrist lifting her hand from my buddy and I can almost hear him protest. The next thing I know she is unbuckling my belt, seriously how many hands does this woman have? It will be so much easier to just tie them up.

That is a thought…

But where will be the fun in that?

I slid my hands under her shirt letting my fingers room the smooth skin of her back. She has the most prefect skin. I can touch her for hours.

"Elena" her name escapes my mouth in a needy moan that is so new for me when she bites my earlobe gentle and she chuckles clearly enjoying her affect on me. Oh, baby you have no idea!

"Enough with the foreplay" Elena whispers seductively into my ear. "I want you" she circles my ear shell with her tongue sending a shiver down my body and straight down to my _bubby._ I push her pencil skirt up to her hips and run my fingers over her soaked panties. Fuck me, she is dripping! I slid two fingers into her heat.

"Damon" she cries out and her pussy squeezes the life out of my fingers. I suppress a groan and starts bumping my hand into her. I curl my fingers into a come-hither motion massaging the spongy area that is her g-spot until she is panting and meeting me thrust for thrust riding my hand. "More, please more" she begs in combination of a moan and a sob. This woman will be the death of me. I withdraw my hand from her and before she gets to protest I am down on my knees opening her up and pushing her panties down her long legs. Once she is all bare, spread and exposed for me, I dig my nose craving her smell like a drug addict.

"What are you doing?" she snitches my head up by my hair, _hard_. Fuck, she is hot!

"What does it look like?" I growl feeling frustrated with being denied my fix.

"Not now" her voice is a mix of anger, frustration and crazy wild desire. "Just fuck me" she adds with the same tone but her eyes are almost pleading now. How can I deny this? I stand up and pull her head for a light kiss, just lips, no tongue or teeth like usual and I can tell she wants more but I pull away before she can deepen it.

"Yes, mistress" I whisper seductively even though the hold I have her head in is anything but submissive. Her eyes widen and darken a few shades and a smirk curls my lips up because fuck, I knew she will like that! In one swift move I unzip my pants pulling my prisoner buddy free and he almost jumps in relieve. I reach for her ass lifting her up effortlessly and letting her drop hard on my waiting erection.

"Damon" she gasps and her hand crawls at my shoulder, her nails digging my skin.

"Holy shit, you feel even better than I remember" I groan and take a deep breath to control my usual reaction to being inside her which is 'almost coming'.

"Move…please…" she begs pressing her heels into my butt harder pulling me closer. The edge of the bar is digging into the flesh of her bare ass but she doesn't seem to care. I pull almost all the way out and slam back into her. I start banging her in an unforgiving rhythm, the slight pinch of her nails against my skin only adding to the insane pleasure. I bend down sucking on her collarbone enjoying the thin layer of sweat forming on her heated skin. She cups my face and pulls me up for a kiss that is all tongue and teeth and hunger and passion. We part for air and she starts nibbling on my neck, my collarbone, my shoulders. She slips her tiny hands behind my back running her nails up from the small of my back to my shoulder blades.

"Elena" I growl feeling like I am losing my mind and increase my rhythm harder and faster. My fingers digs harder into her hips that I may leave bruises.

"Harder" she gasps out and I obey losing myself in her completely. I feel her wall tightening around me, her breathes become shallower, her cries more desperate and I know she is close. I angle my hips effectively hitting a special spot inside her and boom.

"Damon" she screams and I find myself wondering how I have even been able to come without the voice of Elena screaming my name echoing the walls around us. She rides out her orgasm wildly like the goddess she is and in a couple of thrusts I am right there with her. I take her mouth in a sensual kiss muffling our screams.

"Fuck" I murmur into her neck after she collapses on me and I tell my legs to bear us but I am not sure they can even bear _me _at this point.

_Man up, you pussy. It is just an orgasm!_

yeah, just the best motherfucking orgasm in my life, fuck off!

I place her carefully on the bar making sure she is safe before pulling away without pulling out of her and I take a good look at her post-orgasmic face.

"You are so beautiful" I pop out like an idiot and I couldn't help it as I take her lower lip into my mouth sucking at it and running the tip of my tongue over it. I can't get enough of her.

I am royally fucked. Metaphorically and literally.

"You didn't have to say that" she smiles shyly. "You just had me"

"Alright. You are ugly" I say nibbling at her neck. "You are the ugliest girl I have ever ever seen" she laughs causing her throat to vibrate and I chuckle. I love everything about her laugh, I love its sound, I love the way she looks when she laughs eyes twinkling and all. Fucked. Fucked. Fucked. "And just because I just had you doesn't mean I don't want you again" I hear her breath hitching and I smirk knowing she will be totally up for it. Seriously, you know a woman want another round when she squeezes the life out of your poor sleeping dick.

"You wanna know what I want?" her voice is hoarse and raspy probably from all the screaming she just did. The fact alone makes my dick twitch."I wanna lick you all over" she runs the nails of her index and forefinger from my hip bone to the other. "From here" she goes up to my bully button, my abs, circling my nibbles and finally my neck to my chin. "To there" she whispers in a barely audible voice as she touches my lower lip before I suck her finger into my mouth hungrily.

Fuck, I am hard again.

**Is it hot in here or is it just me? Woah! That was one dirty chapter for me to right. Damon has absolutely no shame and he keeps urging me to make it filthier! He tricked me into in, mom!**

**Anyways, what do you think? Do you think my smut improved or got worse? I am reading that book "Beautiful Bastard" and it is making me crave writing an angry sex but there is no room for that in this story so…maybe I can write a smutty one-shot to fulfill the craving?**

**Next chapter we will get into Elena's head so please, please don't hate on her yet, okay?**

**Okidoki? See you soon, beauties ;) **


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